Milpitas Mom's Favorite Jokes
ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it?
DOBERMAN: Immediately decides to change the brand of light bulb and find a more efficient form of lighting -- perhaps a fluorescent bulb.
AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD: One, but just "try" to convince him that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!
BULLDOG: Just one. But it takes them three years to do it.
POMERANIANS don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a German Shepherd in to do the job for them while they're out.
PUG: Er, two. Or maybe one. No -- on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?
AFGHAN: Light bulb? What light bulb?
CAT: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
SHIBA-INU: Zero! Shibas aren't afraid of the dark!
SCHIPPERKE: It's your light bulb -- change it yourself. Unless..... Is there food involved??
POODLE: Sorry, Just had my nails done.
BEAGLE: How many cookies do I get?
WEIMARANER: What?? Light bulb? You want ME to change a LIGHT BULB?
LAB: Why change it? The darker it is, the longer I can sleep.
BASENJI: LIGHT BULB? We don't change no stinking light bulbs!
MALAMUTE: Let *him* do it. You can pet me while he's busy.
BOXER: If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough o quit falling off the chair.......
AMERICAN BULLDOG: One. JUMP, remove bulb, land. JUMP, replace bulb, land. Two: What light bulb, So? We can play in the dark.
GOLDEN RETRIEVER: "I'll be glad to change the light bulb for you, but first can't we play catch with the tennis ball, or Frisbee -- and then I want to lick your face and rest my head in your lap and look up at you with my sad eyes. What, you're changing the light bulb yourself -- you didn't have to do that -- but I looooove you so much for being my friend and doing that."
DALMATIAN: Just one, but it will really hate the new bulb.
ROTTWEILER: I'll change the light bulb if I can eat the old one.
CORGI: I can't reach the stupid lamp!
SPRINGER: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
STANDARD POODLE: None. Go get human, sit under it, look up and point it out -- then go lie down in disgust that it took so long.
BORDER COLLIE: Just one. And he'll rewire the house while he's at it.
WOLFDOG: Let me see that light bulb, anyway. What's it made of, what's inside of it, what will happen if I drop it. I might change it, but let me think about it. You're not trying to tell me what to do, are you? Hey, I just had a great idea. I think I'll change that light bulb!
GERMAN SHEPHERD: "I'm kinda busy right now! I have to chase the cat, protect the kids, herd the horses, beg for food and take a nap. I'll add the light bulb to my "To Do" list...."
DACHSHUND: Well, first get me a ladder and a treat...... no, you took too long. I want TWO treats and I'll do it......... No, not that treat, the other kind. Geez.......... do I have to do everything? (of course, followed by "the look".)
IRISH SETTER: It only takes one, but it will put in a really dim bulb.
PIT BULL TERRIER: Jump and take hold of old light bulb. Now, let go of old light bulb........ I said LET GO OF LIGHT BULB! Please???? Let go of the light bulb?????? Let go?
GOOD OL' SOUTHERN HOUND DOG: Huh????