Milpitas Mom's Favorite Jokes

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Animals

Beware of Bears
The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and Northern Sierra areas.

Cat Haikus
The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it?

In My Next Life I Want To Be A Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Installing A CAT Unit in Your House
This model contains the following features: User Friendly, Mouse Driven, Self Cleaning.

Old Dog Comes By For A Nap
One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.

Stray Cats
Ever try to make household rules about relationships with stray cats? Ever try to make them stick?

Taking a Load of Penguins to the Zoo
Penguins get a lift to the zoo. (Links about penguins and places to see them.)

What Does The Frog Say?
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

What You Can Learn From Your Dog
Run, romp, and play daily.

Where Do Pets Come From? 
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer: "Where do pets come from?"