Author: Ann Zeise

God is Missing. We’re in Trouble!

Religious Jokes

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are  excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents  know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are  probably involved. The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been  successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her  boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.  So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older  boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”

The boy’s  mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his  mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner  tone, “Where is God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is  God?!”

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home &  dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his  older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in  BIG trouble this time.”

“GOD is missing, and they think we did it!”

A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke

McCarthy Ranch Shopping Center

This site is in no way affiliated or connected with McCarthy Ranch in Milpitas, CA. Most stores linked here are located in the McCarthy Ranch shopping center, but some advertisers may not. Check addresses and information carefully!

Major Stores
Anchor stores in McCarthy Ranch shopping mall. Best Buy, Dollar Tree, PETsMART, Big Al’s, US Cricket Store, and Wal-Mart.

Banking and Investing
Convenient banking and financial advice when you come by for lunch anyway. Bank of America has an ATM in the parking lot near Starbucks.

Clothing and Footwear
Discount clothing and shoe stores, and the seasonal Halloween store.

Electronics
Buy electronics in local stores or order online from their websites.

Health & Beauty
Whether you or your pet needs health or beauty treatment, you can find it in McCarthy Ranch Shopping Center.

Home Furnishings and Crafts
Shop for home furnishings, furniture, and home decorations.

Hotels
Hilton Garden Inn and Larkspur Landing hotels are located in the McCarthy Ranch shopping center, and near many favorite restaurants.

Restaurants & Specialty Foods
I have linked to each McCarthy Ranch restaurant that has online ordering and either or both delivery and pickup available.

Shopping Centers in Milpitas

McCarthy Ranch Electronics

Buy electronics in stores at McCarthy Ranch or order online from their websites.

AT&T
Cell phone services at the store. Yelp Reviews.
185 Ranch Drive
408-942-7570

Best Buy
Best deals of the week on all sorts of electronics products.
168 Ranch Drive.
408-942-0201

T-Mobile Store
Purchase cellphones and check your account here.
135 Ranch Drive
408-956-8950

Verizon
Purchase cellphones and check your account here.
172 Ranch Drive
408-263-1960

Walmart.com
Electronics at the Milpitas store: TVs, laptops, cell phones, tablets & iPads, software, desktop computers, cameras & camcorders, audio & video.
301 Ranch Drive
408-934-0304

McCarthy Ranch Marketplace
McCarthy Blvd.
Banking & Investing
Clothing and Footwear
Electronics
Health and Beauty
Home Furnishings and Crafts
Hotels
Major Stores
Restaurants

Bail Bondsmen – San Francisco Bay Area

Do you know what a bail bond or bail bondsman is? There are a several ways of explaining bail bonds and how a person in jail can get out of jail. Milpitas bail bonds men follow the same rules as other bail bonds companies. We found a few good descriptions of the bail bonds procedure and reprinted in part below.

Bail bonds in its simplest form is where; one human guarantees another human will be at a specific place at a specific time. This works well until the bonded person that is out on bail skips court or their hearing date and then they have to be physically forced to go to court on time. Then it is time to call out the bondman’s bounty hunter. This is where the stories come from, Chasing down the bonded out of jail person and returning them to jail to wait for their court date. One of the first westerns on television was about a bounty hunter chasing down people that had jumped bail and the bounty hunter was hired to go get the bonded out of jail person and bring them back to the bondsman and jail. Today the most prominate bounty hunter bringing back the people that jump bail is Dog the Bounty Hunter, a reality TV show.

Insurance Dictionary: Bail Bond

“Monetary guarantee that an individual released from jail will be present in court at the appointed time. If the individual is not present in court at that time, the monetary value of the bond is forfeited to the court (jumping bail). Personal automobile policies commonly cover fees for an insured’s bail bond.”

Law Encyclopedia: Bail Bond

This entry contains information applicable to United States law only.

A written promise signed by a defendant or a surety (one who promises to act in place of another) to pay an amount fixed by a court should the defendant named in the document fail to appear in court for the designated criminal proceeding at the date and time specified.

Most defendants are financially unable to post their own bail, so they seek help from a bail agent, who, for a nonrefundable fee of 10 percent to 20 percent of the amount of the bail, posts bail. A bail agent becomes liable to the court for the full amount of bail if the defendant fails to appear for the court date. Read more about bail bonds.

Wikipedia: Bail bondsman

A bail bond agent, or bondsman, is any person or corporation which will act as a surety and pledge money or property as bail for the appearance of a criminal defendant in court. Although banks, insurance companies and other similar institutions are usually the sureties on other types of contracts (for example, to bond a contractor who is under a contractual obligation to pay for the completion of a construction project) such entities are reluctant to put their depositors’ or policyholders’ funds at the kind of risk involved in posting a bail bond. Bail bond agents, on the other hand, are usually in the business to cater to criminal defendants, often securing their customers’ release in just a few hours.

The first modern bail bonds business in the United States, the system by which a person pays a percentage of the court specified bail amount to a professional bonds agent who puts up the cash as a guarantee that the person will appear in court, was established by Tom and Peter P. McDonough in San Francisco in 1898.

Modern practice

Bond agents have a standing security agreement with local court officials, in which they agree to post an irrevocable “blanket” bond, which will pay the court if any defendant for whom the bond agent is responsible does not appear. The bond agent usually has an arrangement with an insurance company, bank or another credit provider to draw on such security, even during hours when the bank is not operating. This eliminates the need for the bondsman to deposit cash or property with the court every time a new defendant is bailed out.

Bond agents generally charge a fee of 10-12% of the total amount of the bail required in order to post a bond for the amount. This fee is not refundable and represents the bond agent’s compensation for his or her services. As the practice of paying a 10% cash premium for a bond became widespread, some courts have recently instituted a practice of accepting 10% of the bond amount in cash, for example, by requiring a $10,000 bond or $1,000 in cash. In jurisdictions where the 10% cash alternative is available, the deposit is usually returned if the case is concluded without violation of the conditions of bail. This has the effect of giving the defendant or persons giving security for the defendant a substantial incentive to make the cash deposit rather than using a bail bond agent.

For large bail amounts, bond agents can generally obtain security against the assets of the defendant or persons willing to assist the defendant. For example, for a $100,000 bond for a person who owns a home, the bond agent would charge $10,000 and take a mortgage against the house for the full penal sum of the bond.

If the defendant fails to appear in court, the bond agent is allowed by law and/or contractual arrangement to bring the defendant to the jurisdiction of the court in order to recover the money paid out under the bond, usually through the use of a bounty hunter. The bond agent is also allowed to sue the defendant for any money forfeited to the court should the defendant fail to appear.

In most jurisdictions, bond agents have to be licensed to carry on business within the state. Several unusual organizations[1]often provide bail bonds.

Four states–Illinois, Kentucky, Oregon, and Wisconsin–have completely banned commercial bail bonding, usually substituting the 10% cash deposit alternative described above. However, some of these states specifically allow AAA and similar organizations to continue providing bail bond services pursuant to insurance contracts or membership agreements.

The economically discriminatory effect of the bond system has been controversial, and subject to attempts at reform since the 1910s, at least. See, e.g., Frank Murphy‘s institution of a bond department at Detroit, Michigan‘s Recorder’s Court.[2]

In addition to the use of bail bonds, a defendant may be released under other terms. These alternatives include Own Recognizance or Signature Bond, Cash Bond, Surety Bond, Property Bond and Citation Release. Alternatives to Bail are determined by the court.

Return to main Elmwood Jail Page.

City Hall Opening

City Hall Entry
Elegant Glass Entry to the new Milpitas City Hall

Mayor Henry shows sword (Our mayor is well protected!)
Former Mayor Ben Gross tells story of the founding of Milpitas
Commissioner, Fred Zeise, Mayor Henry Manayan, and Ann Zeise, GoMilpitas Webmaster
Frank DeSmidt (rt.) & Friends
Ed Connor, council candidate, and friend
Don Ryan (rt.) & Friends
Flags in front of City Hall
Deepka Lalwani, council candidate, (in red) and Supervisor & Mrs. Pete McHugh
George demonstrates Touch Screen Controls(Click for large photo of controls)
Gaye Morando, Chamber Executive Manager, and Jean Strange, Chamber Ambassador, show coffee mug and postcard mementos
Girls have fun in Fountain
Boy walking along front pond
Can you find your home?

Democrat Rally 2000

November 3, 2000, San Jose Civic Center

I got the chance to attend the California Democratic Party rally in downtown San Jose, and to hear speeches given by some of the local candidates and by President Bill Clinton. Former SF Giants left fielder, Willie Mays, was also there to lend his support. You may click on the links and on the pictures to find out more about each person.

President Clinton

President Clinton encouraging democrats to get out the vote! Also on the panel were Gov. Gray Davis, Mike Honda (Candidate for Congress) Rep. Zoe Lofgren, Norm Mineta (Commerce Secretary), and Willie Mays (SF Giants Special Ass’t to the President)

speakers

Mike Honda (Candidate for Congress) Rep. Zoe Lofgren, Norm Mineta (Commerce Secretary), Willie Mays (SF Giants Special Ass’t to the President) and Art Torres, past Chairman of the California Democratic Party.

Mike Honda speaking

Mike Honda tells what he would do for Silicon Valley if elected. Also pictured are Gov. Gray Davis, President Clinton, Rep. Zoe Lofgren, Norm Mineta (Commerce Secretary).

Willie Mays & Art Torres

Willie Mays, Baseball Hall of Famer, and Art Torres, Chairman of the California Democratic Party.

Willie Mays
Willie Mays, Baseball Hall of Famer, says “Hi” to this old fan.

Governor Gray Davis
Governor Gray Davis of California

Representative Zoe Lofgren
Representative Zoe Lofgren, 16th District

Siren Sounds-Police Blotter Humor

Milpitas Jokes

These are really true! From the Milpitas Post’s Police Blotter.

April 9, 1998

No Second Chances For Alleged Shoe Thief

After allegedly stealing a pair of shoes from Mervyn’s Department Store, a suspected thief wore them when he made a return visit to the store March 30 at 8:30 p.m.

According to officers, the suspect was not happy with the stolen shoes and exchanged them for a more comfortable pair. Security then stopped the man as he tried to walk out of the store without paying for the shoes.

Police arrested Mark Allen Cameron, 36, of Milpitas on suspicion of theft.

[I guess the suspect heard that Mervyn’s allegedly was really nice about making exchanges with no questions asked!]

Man Arrested for Distributing Nude Photo

A woman called police after she found a nude photograph of herself on her car. According to police reports, the woman said that her estranged husband had placed it there and was threatening to distribute the photos.

Police contacted the woman’s ex-husband and discovered he possessed the nude photos.

Officers arrested the 30-year-old man on March 30 at 11 p.m. on the 200 block of Fanyon Drive on suspicion of distributing obscene material. The suspect’s name has been withheld to protect the identity of the victim.

[I never much like the photographs my husband takes of me either.]

The Milpitas Post no longer includes the Police Blotter.

A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.