Computer Language For Non-Computer Users
Log On |
Makin’ the wood stove hotter. |
Log Off |
Don’t add any more wood. |
Monitor |
Keep an eye on the wood stove. |
Download |
Gettin’ the firewood off the pickup. |
Mega Hertz |
When yer not careful downloadin’ (watch th’ toes). |
Floppy Disk |
Whatcha get from pilin’ too much firewood. |
Disk Operating System |
The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk. |
RAM |
The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work. |
Hard Drive |
Gettin’ home in mud season. |
Prompt |
What you wish the mail was in mud season. |
Windows |
What to shut when it’s 50 degrees, and that’s real cold in Milpitas! |
Screen |
What you need for black fly season. |
Byte |
What black flies do. |
Chip |
What to munch on. |
Micro Chip |
What’s left in the bag when the chips are gone. |
Infrared |
Where the leftovers go when Fred’s around. |
Modem |
What you did to the hay fields. |
Dot Matrix |
John Matrix’s wife. |
Printer |
Someone who can’t write in cursive. |
Lap Top |
Where little kids feel comfy. |
Keyboard |
Where you hang your keys. |
Software |
Them plastic eatin’ utensils. |
486 |
One of them fancy imported cars. |
Mouse |
What eats the horses’ grain in the barn. |
Main Frame |
The part of the barn that holds the roof up. |
Port |
Fancy wine. |
Enter |
C’mon in! |
Random Access Memory |
When you suddenly can’t remember how much that new rifle costs when your wife asks. |
Digital |
Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock. |
Apple |
If you don’t know what an apple is, I ain’t tellin’. |
Program |
What’s on the TV when TCI has reception. |
CD ROM |
The place in the back where they sell retirement accounts. |
A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.