Family Life Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Apartment Hunting With A Large Family
Father figures out how to get apartment even though he has a large family.
Being A Parent
Being a parent is like being pecked to death by a duck.
How Poor We Really Are
One day a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were.
Licking Is Totally the Same as Hand-washing, Right?
Me: Did you wash your hands? 4-year-old: No. Me: Why are your hands wet?
Mr. Nobody
I know a funny little man, as quiet as a mouse, who does the mischief that is done in everybody’s house!
Mustard
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.
My Mother Taught Me
My Mother taught me LOGIC
“If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.”
Night Before Christmas for Mom
T’was the night before Christmas, in a Milpitas abode,
Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
Recipe For Doing the Family Wash
Written in its original spelling for a bride a few generations ago.
Retirement Through the Eyes of a Child
After a spring break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent the holidays. One child wrote the following…
The Ring Bearer
A little boy was in a relative’s wedding.
Ten Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Ways to Really Annoy Telemarketers
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
You Know You Live in Milpitas When…
You make $250,000 a year, but can’t find a place to live.