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Proposition and Measure Research Sites
Our ballots have arrived, and while most know the candidates, often there are propositions and measures on the ballot that can be confusing. I will be updating this page with each election to give you places to research these items before you vote. Milpitas City Measure Measure F Measure F is a ¼ cent local sales tax and would cost one penny for every $4 spent. According to city reports, approximately half of Measure F would be paid by visitors to Milpitas. Food purchased as groceries and prescription medication would be exempt from Measure F. City of Milpitas Public Services Measure. To provide funding to maintain the City’s finances and…
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Adopt a Pet
Adoption Help Center When considering the addition of an animal into your life, we encourage you to think seriously about the time and commitment involved. All animals need love, understanding, and patience – especially as they are adjusting to their new home. Humane Society of Silicon Valley. Animal Friends Rescue Project AFRP is a nonprofit organization dedicated to finding good permanent homes for abandoned, stray, and abused companion animals, and to ending the overpopulation crisis through aggressive spay/neuter programs. Pacific Grove. Companion Animal Rescue Effort A nonprofit, all volunteer, animal rescue organization based in Santa Clara County. 665 S. Bascom Ave. Campbell, CA 408-227-CARE Furry Friends Rescue We are a…
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10 Tips to Reduce Your Chances of Becoming a Crime Victim
Lock doors and windows when you are not going to be at home. Many home burglaries have occurred by suspects finding an unlocked window or open door to enter through. Lock car doors and do not leave any property in plain view. Valuables left out in the open may tempt thieves. If you must leave belongings in the car, place them in the trunk and out of sight. When walking on the street or to your car from a business, make eye contact with others and be aware of your surroundings. Keeping your head down and not making eye contact with people makes a person look more vulnerable to an…
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No Cookies, No Candy, No Gum
Women Jokes A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her “no.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. It won’t be long.” He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Ellen, don’t cry.…
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Milk With A Little Coffee In It
Milpitas Jokes This story takes a little background; the names have been changed to protect the guilty. Ian works in a little coffee, chai, and sandwich place in Milpitas. Peter is his boss and the owner of the shop, and yes, this actually happened. Ian is telling the story. A special presentation of the “Stupid Award” goes to this customer. Below is an approximate conversation with her. Customer: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it. Ian: So, that’s just a splash of coffee in a milk? Customer: No, a regular amount of milk, but not coffee. Ian: Is there more milk or coffee? Customer: Oh, definitely more…
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Where’s Waldo? Social Distancing Edition
Covid Jokes “When I saw the cartoon today, it made me think of how the things we took for granted as a child back then are no longer considered “SAFE.” Not just from an environmental standpoint, but from simple things like social gatherings. I never thought I would live to see the day when the whole country would be in such a state of affairs as exists now with the COVID-19 virus.” A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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Letter From A Scout
Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got…
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In Memory of Those Who Died in the Service
Religious Jokes One Sunday morning, the pastor, Ole, noticed little Andy was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of a Milpitas church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning Andy.” “Good morning Father,” replied the young boy, still focused on the plaque. “Father Ole, what is this?” Andy asked. “Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.” Soberly, they stood together,…
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How Milpitans Do It
Milpitas Jokes Finding Good Deals in Milpitas: Sign in a Milpitas gas station: Coke — 49 cents. Two for a dollar! How Milpitas Clerks Check For Valid VISA Cards: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She…
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Hacker Barbie®
Computing Jokes Barbie introduces a ‘Game Developer’ doll, Hacker Barbie, and she’s even cooler than you thought. Feminist Hacker Barbie the latest in their new line of Barbie® products, the “Hacker Barbie<®.” These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged. This new line of Barbie® dolls comes equipped with Barbie’s very own X-terminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA’s “In a Nutshell” series. The Barbie® clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans. Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses with lenses thick enough to set…
