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Go Milpitas

Milpitas, California, Community Website

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          • Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad
          • Light Rail Opening 2004
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  • Menu
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      • History – 1900s
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      • Maps to Milpitas Parks and Recreation Sites
      • Skatepark
      • Ski Northern California
      • Swimming Pools & Lessons
        • Pools-Keeping Cool
      • Trails & Bike Paths
      • Youth Sports
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      • Air Travel
      • Cars
        • Cheapest Gas in Milpitas
        • Clean Air Incentives
        • Drivers Ed
        • Driving
        • Electric Vehicle Charging Stations
        • History of Transportation
        • Rent a Car, Truck or Trailer
        • Smog Check Stations
      • Hotels
      • Public Transportation
      • Roads & Highways
        • Calaveras – Sierra Rd Loop
        • FasTrak in Milpitas
        • Maps
        • Traffic
      • Trains
        • Kiddie Train Rides
        • History of Railroads in California
          • Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad
          • Light Rail Opening 2004
        • Intercity Trains
        • Roller Coasters
        • Train Rides
  • Events
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    • Post.news Milpitas
    • Other Social Networking Groups

Alphabetical Posts, Pages, Tags & Jokes Directory

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Menu

  • About Milpitas
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  • Jokes

    I Will Survive, Coronavirus version for teachers going online

    August 18, 2020 /
    I Will Survive song

    Covid Jokes Lyrics by Michael Bruening View video here. At first I was afraid, I was petrified Kept thinking I could never teach through Canvas all the time But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long And I grew strong And I learned how to get along And so I’m back Students are gone As all my colleagues try to figure out how they’re gonna get along I should have kept up with the tech, not skipped that class on course design If I’d known for just one second I’d be teaching all-online Go on now, go, leave me alone I’ve got to figure…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Silver Strings Guitar Group

    Music in Milpitas

    February 16, 2024
    Capital Improvement Program 2022-2026

    Future of Milpitas-Plans and Projects

    March 1, 2022
    children's apparel

    Children’s Apparel Shops at the Great Mall

    April 4, 2018
  • About Milpitas

    Earthquakes

    August 17, 2020 /
    Santa Clara County Earthquake Hazard

    California earthquake faults and recent earthquakes, and how they affect Milpitas, San Jose, and the San Francisco Bay Area. Did You Feel It? This is a U.S. Geological Survey project to collect information about ground shaking following significant earthquakes. Following an earthquake, please tell us what you felt by filling out the questionnaire for the appropriate earthquake. Best site to find information about a very recent earthquake. Advice Earthquake Information Earthquakes Recently History Kids Earthquake Links Maps Public Seismic Networks Advice Are you ready for an earthquake? The next time disaster strikes, you may not have much time to act. Prepare now for a sudden emergency. Learn how to protect…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Grant Writing

    Grant Writing Help

    June 19, 2024
    Chico's Watch

    The Value of Time

    May 18, 2020

    Foreclosure Information & How to Avoid

    November 19, 2020
  • Jokes

    Daily Affirmations to Avoid

    August 11, 2020 /
    Daily Affirmations to Avoid

    Covid Jokes & Philosopical Jokes As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment. I honor my personality flaws, for…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Milpitas City Hall at Night

    This Sound Like City Council?

    July 25, 2018
    Gardeners Know All the Dirt

    Gardens in Milpitas

    December 4, 2021
    Milpitas Food Pantry

    Free and Low Cost Meals

    March 6, 2025
  • Jokes

    Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke

    August 11, 2020 /
    Relative Importance in 2020 so far

    Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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    Ann Zeise

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    Prepare for a Fire or Earthquake Emergency

    May 3, 2021
    Rentals-Apartments, Homes

    Apartment Hunting With A Large Family

    November 13, 2019
    Park and History Museum Plans

    Museums In and Near Milpitas

    October 30, 2021
  • Jokes

    Next “Survivor” Show

    August 11, 2020 /
    survivor

    Have you heard about the next planned “survivor” show? 6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids for 6 weeks. Each kid plays 2 sports and either takes music or dance classes and there is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned home clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc. The men only have access to TV when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only 1 TV between them and no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear make-up daily, which they must…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Christmas Riddles

    July 6, 2018

    Traffic Reports for Milpitas & Nearby

    June 20, 2020

    Train Rides in Northern California

    August 31, 2025
  • Jokes

    Installing Love

    August 7, 2020 /
    analysis-transfer-programs-to-new-pc

    Computing Jokes Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE? Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first? CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am? Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running? CS Rep: What programs are running ma’am? Customer: Let me see….I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but…

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    Milpitas Post founder Mort Levine

    Milpitas Historical Society April 14, 2021 with Mort Levine & Deva Luna

    June 10, 2021
    MUSD with Contact Info

    Milpitas Unified School District (MUSD)

    January 28, 2026
    Sleeping Bear

    In My Next Life I Want To Be A Bear

    February 27, 2025
  • Jokes

    Retirement Through the Eyes of a Child

    August 7, 2020 /
    Seniors on Golfcart

    After a spring break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent the holidays. One child wrote the following: “We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Milpitas. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got…

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    Seafood and Steak Restaurants

    June 25, 2020

    Proposition and Measure Research Sites

    October 13, 2020
    Reindeer and Girl

    How We Know Santa’s Reindeer Are Female

    November 19, 2020
  • Jokes

    How Poor We Really Are

    July 31, 2020 /
    Home of Poor Person in US

    Money Jokes & Amazing Facts One day a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. They stayed one night and one day in the farm of a very humble farm house. At the end of the trip and back home the father asked the son, “What did you think of the trip?” The son replied, “Very nice, Dad.” Father: “Did you notice how poor they were?” Son: “Yes.” Father: “What did you learn?” Son: “I learned that we have one dog in the house and they have four. We have a fountain in…

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    Ole and Lena’s bull took sick and died

    August 23, 2019
    smart light bulb

    Laughing in the Dark

    January 25, 2023
    Memorial for those killed

    Handling Stress after a Disaster or Traumatic Incident

    June 28, 2020
  • Education

    Should we homeschool independently during Covid-19?

    July 26, 2020 /
    Kite Flying at Ben Rogers Park

    I have already heard from several parents who are open to homeschooling independently from the Milpitas School District this coming school year, 2020-2021. If you have additional questions, please use the chat bot to contact me, Ann Zeise. If you want me to call you, please leave your name and phone number and a good time to call. I will only use that information to contact you. First, what do you need to consider? Primarily consider putting your family health first. If someone in your household is compromised such as they might die if they catch Covid-19, then definitely read on. Did your children enjoy the online EcuatEveryWhere virtual classroom?…

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    Crown Plaza Robot

    Milpitas Square Hotels

    September 13, 2019

    Home Improvement Advice and Services

    June 25, 2020

    South Bay freeway shooting sends person to hospital

    May 26, 2021
  • Jokes

    Naked Truth about Covid-19 and Sheltering in Place

    July 25, 2020 /
    Social Distancing from Grubhub

    Covid Jokes So we’re into our 5th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there’s a lot of truth mixed in to consider. . . 1. So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap? 2. Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do. 3. When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me. 4. If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly…

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    McCarthy Ranch Hotels

    April 23, 2024
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    How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

    July 7, 2021

    Are You Acting Too Much Like a Teacher?

    April 24, 2020
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