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Go Milpitas

Milpitas, California, Community Website

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          • Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad
          • Light Rail Opening 2004
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      • Ancient & Medieval History
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      • Ethnic History & Culture
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      • History – 1900s
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      • Hiking, Running, Walking
      • Little League Baseball
      • Maps to Milpitas Parks and Recreation Sites
      • Skatepark
      • Ski Northern California
      • Swimming Pools & Lessons
        • Pools-Keeping Cool
      • Trails & Bike Paths
      • Youth Sports
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      • Air Travel
      • Cars
        • Cheapest Gas in Milpitas
        • Clean Air Incentives
        • Drivers Ed
        • Driving
        • Electric Vehicle Charging Stations
        • History of Transportation
        • Rent a Car, Truck or Trailer
        • Smog Check Stations
      • Hotels
      • Public Transportation
      • Roads & Highways
        • Calaveras – Sierra Rd Loop
        • FasTrak in Milpitas
        • Maps
        • Traffic
      • Trains
        • Kiddie Train Rides
        • History of Railroads in California
          • Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad
          • Light Rail Opening 2004
        • Intercity Trains
        • Roller Coasters
        • Train Rides
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Alphabetical Posts, Pages, Tags & Jokes Directory

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  • Jokes

    I Will Survive, Coronavirus version for teachers going online

    August 18, 2020 /
    I Will Survive song

    Covid Jokes Lyrics by Michael Bruening View video here. At first I was afraid, I was petrified Kept thinking I could never teach through Canvas all the time But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long And I grew strong And I learned how to get along And so I’m back Students are gone As all my colleagues try to figure out how they’re gonna get along I should have kept up with the tech, not skipped that class on course design If I’d known for just one second I’d be teaching all-online Go on now, go, leave me alone I’ve got to figure…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Snazzy Suit

    Puttin’ On The Hitz

    December 8, 2020
    Authorities need help identifying man who assaulted bus operator in Milpitas

    Authorities need help identifying man who assaulted bus operator in Milpitas

    May 25, 2022
    Chico's Watch

    The Value of Time

    May 18, 2020
  • About Milpitas

    Earthquakes

    August 17, 2020 /
    Santa Clara County Earthquake Hazard

    California earthquake faults and recent earthquakes, and how they affect Milpitas, San Jose, and the San Francisco Bay Area. Did You Feel It? This is a U.S. Geological Survey project to collect information about ground shaking following significant earthquakes. Following an earthquake, please tell us what you felt by filling out the questionnaire for the appropriate earthquake. Best site to find information about a very recent earthquake. Advice Earthquake Information Earthquakes Recently History Kids Earthquake Links Maps Public Seismic Networks Advice Are you ready for an earthquake? The next time disaster strikes, you may not have much time to act. Prepare now for a sudden emergency. Learn how to protect…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Thinker

    Thoughts for the Day

    July 15, 2021
    vote hands of many colors

    Vote!-Milpitas General Election Results 11/5/2024

    November 6, 2024
    Ulferts Milpitas

    Ulferts Center

    June 25, 2024
  • Jokes

    Daily Affirmations to Avoid

    August 11, 2020 /
    Daily Affirmations to Avoid

    Covid Jokes & Philosopical Jokes As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment. I honor my personality flaws, for…

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    Ann Zeise

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    No Cookies, No Candy, No Gum

    September 29, 2020
    Red ribbon forming the word 'mom', isolated on white

    Mom’s Song and Teen’s Answer

    May 7, 2020
    pizza parlor

    Pizza Parlors in Milpitas

    June 5, 2026
  • Jokes

    Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke

    August 11, 2020 /
    Relative Importance in 2020 so far

    Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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    Ann Zeise

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    Breaking News

    Breaking News Joke

    July 21, 2020
    Don't Eat the Forbidden Fruit

    Don’t Eat the Forbidden Fruit

    August 2, 2019
    Fancy Dancers

    Fancy Dancers of Milpitas perform in Oahu, Hawaii

    August 1, 2023
  • Jokes

    Next “Survivor” Show

    August 11, 2020 /
    survivor

    Have you heard about the next planned “survivor” show? 6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids for 6 weeks. Each kid plays 2 sports and either takes music or dance classes and there is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned home clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc. The men only have access to TV when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only 1 TV between them and no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear make-up daily, which they must…

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    Ann Zeise

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    William Bennett K12

    On the Revelation of William Bennett’s Gambling Habit

    June 25, 2020
    Too much Coffee

    Milk With A Little Coffee In It

    September 29, 2020
    988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

    Counseling: Help and Support with Problems

    March 13, 2023
  • Jokes

    Installing Love

    August 7, 2020 /
    analysis-transfer-programs-to-new-pc

    Computing Jokes Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE? Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first? CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am? Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running? CS Rep: What programs are running ma’am? Customer: Let me see….I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but…

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    Ann Zeise

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    coach

    Leather Goods & Luggage at The Great Mall

    June 16, 2021
    Authorities need help identifying man who assaulted bus operator in Milpitas

    Authorities need help identifying man who assaulted bus operator in Milpitas

    May 25, 2022
    Scary Movies

    Excellent Advice I’ve Learned From Watching Scary Movies

    May 13, 2020
  • Jokes

    Retirement Through the Eyes of a Child

    August 7, 2020 /
    Seniors on Golfcart

    After a spring break, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent the holidays. One child wrote the following: “We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Milpitas. Now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got…

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    Ann Zeise

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    237 Express Lanes

    FasTrak in Milpitas

    July 3, 2021
    AA meeting

    Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitation

    June 10, 2024

    Community Services

    February 8, 2025
  • Jokes

    How Poor We Really Are

    July 31, 2020 /
    Home of Poor Person in US

    Money Jokes & Amazing Facts One day a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. They stayed one night and one day in the farm of a very humble farm house. At the end of the trip and back home the father asked the son, “What did you think of the trip?” The son replied, “Very nice, Dad.” Father: “Did you notice how poor they were?” Son: “Yes.” Father: “What did you learn?” Son: “I learned that we have one dog in the house and they have four. We have a fountain in…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Painting the Porch

    December 31, 2020
    Welcome to Go Milpitas Group

    How Many Facebook Users Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

    October 19, 2020

    Animals & Pets

    November 11, 2025
  • Education

    Should we homeschool independently during Covid-19?

    July 26, 2020 /
    Kite Flying at Ben Rogers Park

    I have already heard from several parents who are open to homeschooling independently from the Milpitas School District this coming school year, 2020-2021. If you have additional questions, please use the chat bot to contact me, Ann Zeise. If you want me to call you, please leave your name and phone number and a good time to call. I will only use that information to contact you. First, what do you need to consider? Primarily consider putting your family health first. If someone in your household is compromised such as they might die if they catch Covid-19, then definitely read on. Did your children enjoy the online EcuatEveryWhere virtual classroom?…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Chico's Watch

    The Value of Time

    May 18, 2020
    McCathy Ranch arching sign

    McCarthy Ranch Hotels

    April 23, 2024
    Scam Alert

    Scams

    February 16, 2022
  • Jokes

    Naked Truth about Covid-19 and Sheltering in Place

    July 25, 2020 /
    Social Distancing from Grubhub

    Covid Jokes So we’re into our 5th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there’s a lot of truth mixed in to consider. . . 1. So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap? 2. Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do. 3. When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me. 4. If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Relative Importance in 2020 so far

    Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke

    August 11, 2020
    Seniors on Golfcart

    Retirement Through the Eyes of a Child

    August 7, 2020
    Innovation Campus

    Mipitas Unified’s Innovation Campus

    October 18, 2022
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