• Dining & Food

    Reviews of Milpitas Restaurants

    Restaurant Reviews and Ratings

    Dining and Food ~ Restaurants in Milpitas If you’re hungry for a taste of the real thing, food that hasn’t been filtered and watered down for the masses, to the edge you must go. Some of the region’s most exciting eating is found on the periphery in places like Fremont, Newark and Milpitas. Especially Milpitas. ~ Stett Holbrook, Metro Best Restaurants in Milpitas Yelp reviews, which, unfortunately will include restaurants in Fremont and San Jose. sorted by food type. Best wheelchair accessible restaurants near Milpitas, CA At least 30 restaurants with all sorts of menus are accessible for the handicapped. Yelp reviews. Warnings, however, that not all have wheelchair accessible…

  • History

    History Research Groups

    Sparky and Leapin' Lena

    Milpitas Historical Society The Milpitas Historical Society was formed in 1980 by 79 residents of Milpitas who felt that much of our city’s historic heritage was in danger of being lost. Bancroft Library The primary special collections library at the University of California, Berkeley. One of the largest and most heavily used libraries of manuscripts, rare books, and unique materials in the United States, Bancroft supports major research and instructional activities and plays a leading role in the development of the University’s research collections. Dogtown Territorial Quarterly Now defunct after Wildfire A California History Trivia Quiz. Print it out, then browse the website to find the answers. History Magazine for…

  • Jokes

    How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    smart light bulb

    Women Jokes ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the lightbulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find and change the lightbulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change…

  • Jokes

    The Original Trojan Horse Warning

    trojan horse

    Animal Jokes & Computing Jokes FROM: laocoon@doomgloom.edu TO: Trojan Army Listserv < Trojans-L@troy.org > RE: WARNING!! BEWARE GREEKS BEARING GIFTS! Hey Hector, This was forwarded to me by Cassandra–it looks legit. Please distribute to Priam, Hecuba, and your 99 siblings. Thanks, Laocoon WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!! It is EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE and will overwrite your ENTIRE CITY! The “gift” is disguised as a large wooden horse about two stories tall. It tends to show up outside the city gates and appears to be abandoned. DO NOT let it through the gates! It contains hardware that…

  • Jokes

    Cultural Differences Explained

    Cultural Differences Explained

    Milpitas Jokes This is to help my Asian American and Chicano friends better understand the cultural differences among Anglo cultural groups. We aren’t all alike! There are basically four types: Aussies (Australians), Brits (Great Britain), Canadians (And don’t you DARE call them anything else!) and your typical, everyday Milpitan (American mutt.) Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. Milpitans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that’s the government’s job. Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being…

  • Jokes

    An Interview With Santa’s Lawyer

    I'll see you in court

    Please state your name and occupation. My name is Marta Pittman, and I’m a partner at the Law Office of Garry Barbadillo. And you’re Santa Claus’ lawyer. That is correct. More accurately, I’m the partner in charge of our firm’s Seasonal Litigation and Clearances practice, which has as a client Nicolas North LLC, Santa’s corporate entity. I wasn’t aware that Santa needed to have his own corporation. Of course he does. One, Santa heads a massive global enterprise, whose activities are spread over a wide range of areas. Having a corporate structure allows him a measure of organization and systematization. Two, Santa has a large number of employees, mostly elves,…

  • Jokes

    An Engineer Calculates Santa’s Trip

    The Physics of Santa's Trip

    Animal Jokes by Richard Waller, Spy magazine, January 1990. 1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But it is estimated that there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen. 2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total ­ 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household,…

  • Jokes

    20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters

    Trick-or-Treat

    A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.) Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it,”Top Secret” in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, “It’s about time you got here!” Give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, “Come in.”…

  • Jokes

    Being A Parent

    Daddy! Daddy!

    Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke about Family Life and Parenting Being a parent is like being pecked to death by a duck. Raising teenagers is a lot like nailing Jello to a tree. Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps the kids in touch. Your life’s “Golden Age” is the period in your life when your kids are too old to require a babysitter and too young to take the car. Shouting at your children to get cooperation is about the same as steering your car using the horn…same results. To be in your children’s memories tomorrow one must be in their life today. The best advice regarding raising your children…

  • Jokes

    The History of Math Word Problems

    Teaching Math

    Teaching Math in 1950: – (traditional math) A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1970: – (new math) A logger exchanges a set “L” of lumber for a set “M” of money.  The cardinality of set “M” is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set “M.” The set “C”, the cost of production contains 20…