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Ten Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter
A Milpitas Mom Favorite Joke Rule One : If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two : You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three : I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off. Please don’t take this as an…
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Fire at the Semiconductor Plant
Milpitas Jokes One dark night in Milpitas, a fire started inside the local semiconductor plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the semiconductor company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!” As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, the president of…
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Biggest Lies
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Milpitas Mall Shopping Center
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When Riding a Dead Horse
Animal Jokes Milpitas community wisdom says, “When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” But in Milpitas businesses, the city government and (sometimes) our schools often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Saying things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.” Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability. Comparing the state of dead…
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Light Rail Opening 2004
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Christmas Riddles
A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke. Place cursor over the riddle text and wait a second for the riddle answer to appear. Or turn your device upside down. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? What is special about the Christmas alphabet? What do elves learn in school? If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? What do you…
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A Round Tuit
Philosopical Jokes This is a Tuit. Guard it with your life as Tuits are hard to come by, expecially the round ones. This is an indispen- sable item. It will help you become a more efficient worker. For years we have heard people say, “I’ll do it as soon as I get a Round Tuit.” Now that you have one, you can ac- complish all those things you put aside until you get a Round Tuit! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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Light Rail Opening 2004
Slide show movie of the opening of the light rail line at the Great Mall June 23, 2004.
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Parade on Main Street, 4th of July 2005 Slideshow
Slide show of the Main Street Parade, Milpitas, CA, July 4, 2005. For current 4th of July plans in Milpitas, check the Events Calendar.
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Parade on Main Street, 4th of July 2002
Milpitas used to have a fairly long 4th of July parade on Main Street. This one was back in 2002. The parade featured our historic first fire engine, Leapin’ Lena, which is now housed at the Milpitas Community Library, horse riders from local stables, and of course, Mustang convertibles which were manufactured at the Ford Plant which is now the Great Mall. For current 4th of July plans in Milpitas, check the Events Calendar.
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Fireworks July 4, 2008
Photos of the ground fireworks display at the Milpitas Sports Center, July 4, 2008. Photos are the property of Ann Zeise, who will often be kind enough to allow republishing, but please ask through the contact information above. For current 4th of July plans in Milpitas, check the Events Calendar.
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Fireworks Set-Up for 4th of July 2002
A lot of work went into setting up the fireworks display on the 4th of July, 2002. Pyro Spectaculars is a very active company that hires professionally licensed “pyros” to manage the display set-up. They usually have a crew of friendly volunteers who turn out to help with various aspects of the two-day process. The Zeise family has now helped out twice. Here are some photos of the whole gang working on the non-explosive part on July 3rd, which is why you’ll see some children. For current 4th of July plans in Milpitas, check the Events Calendar.
