After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year outside of Buffalo, New York scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 120 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Wheeling WV archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Woodsdale. Shortly after, a story in the The Intelligencer read, “WV archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the…

Computing Jokes An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and said, “And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.” And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?” And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of…

Computing Jokes & Milpitas Jokes I think we have the makings of a new trend here since Bill Gates was “pied.” Anytime a computer exec says something stupid – POW – they get a pie in the face. I can just see it now: “… java virtual machine …” – WHAM – call the dry cleaners. “… the new upgrade is, of course, a whole new paradigm and thus incompatable with the original software …” – SMACK – they won’t do that again. “… you can surf the news faster, without changing either your connection or your modem …” – POW – 2 cream pies, one in each ear. “……

Computing Jokes Barbie introduces a ‘Game Developer’ doll, Hacker Barbie, and she’s even cooler than you thought. Feminist Hacker Barbie the latest in their new line of Barbie® products, the “Hacker Barbie<®.” These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of these dolls is to negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic, computer-illiterate, and academically challenged. This new line of Barbie® dolls comes equipped with Barbie’s very own X-terminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA’s “In a Nutshell” series. The Barbie® clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of well-worn jeans. Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses with lenses thick enough to set…

Computing Jokes Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE? Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first? CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am? Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running? CS Rep: What programs are running ma’am? Customer: Let me see….I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but…

 Log On Makin’ the wood stove hotter.  Log Off Don’t add any more wood.  Monitor Keep an eye on the wood stove.  Download Gettin’ the firewood off the pickup.  Mega Hertz When yer not careful downloadin’ (watch th’ toes).  Floppy Disk Whatcha get from pilin’ too much firewood.  Disk Operating System The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.  RAM The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.  Hard Drive Gettin’ home in mud season.  Prompt What you wish the mail was in mud season. Windows What to shut when it’s 50 degrees, and that’s real cold in Milpitas!  Screen What you need for black fly season.…