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The HTML Song
Computing Jokes Sung to the tune of “YMCA” Programs, that’s what we like to write, I said programs, we stay up half the night Writing programs, ’cause if you want a site On the World-Wide Web you need a Home page. Put the coolest stuff in To your home page. Folks will say, “Hey, I’ve been To your home page!” But before you begin You must learn a whole new language. You’ve got to code sites in H T M L. You’ve got to code blogs in H T M L. It’s a great little set of the neatest tools yet For exploiting the Internet. It’s fun to code WordPress…
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All the Urban Legends Rolled Into One
Amazing Facts & Computing Jokes No need to read all those other urban legends, etc. ever again. Here they are, all in one: I know this guy in Milpitas whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub, it was full of ice, and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said, “Call 911!” But he was afraid to…
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The Last Page of the Internet
Computing Jokes Thank you for visiting the End of the Internet. Congratulations! This is the last page. Thank you for visiting the End of the Internet. There are no more links. You must now turn off your computer and go do something productive. Shut down and go outside. Go read a book, for pete’s sake. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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You Know You Live in Milpitas When…
Computing Jokes & Milpitas Jokes You make over $250,000 and still can’t afford a house. You see nothing but expensive cars because of <above>. You have more bandwidth in your apartment or condo than most major universities. Your commute time is 45 minutes and you live 8 miles from work. You see a billboard that says “FGPA2ASIC” and aren’t fazed. You stop asking how much things cost and start asking “How long will it take?” The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway. You don’t understand how the FasTrak work because you normally don’t commute during those hours. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people…
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Error Dialogue Haiku
Computing Jokes Wind catches lily scatt’ring petals to the wind: segmentation fault First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully. No keyboard present Hit F1 to continue Zengineering? To have no errors Would be life without meaning No struggle, no joy You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped. The ten thousand things How long do any persist? Netscape, too, has gone. With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: “My Novel” not found. The Tao that is seen Is not the true Tao, until You bring…
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The Original Trojan Horse Warning
Animal Jokes & Computing Jokes FROM: laocoon@doomgloom.edu TO: Trojan Army Listserv < Trojans-L@troy.org > RE: WARNING!! BEWARE GREEKS BEARING GIFTS! Hey Hector, This was forwarded to me by Cassandra–it looks legit. Please distribute to Priam, Hecuba, and your 99 siblings. Thanks, Laocoon WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!! It is EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE and will overwrite your ENTIRE CITY! The “gift” is disguised as a large wooden horse about two stories tall. It tends to show up outside the city gates and appears to be abandoned. DO NOT let it through the gates! It contains hardware that…
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Computer Problem Report Form
Computing Jokes 1. Describe your problem: 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: 4. Problem Severity: Minor Minor Minor Trivial 5. Nature of the problem: Locked Up Frozen Hung Strange Smell 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes ….. No 7. Is it turned on? Yes ….. No 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes ….. No 9. Have you made it worse? Yes 10. Have you had “a friend” who “Knows all about computers” try to fix it for you? Yes ….. No 11. Did they make it even worse? Yes 12. Have you read the manual? Yes …..…
