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Apartment Hunting With A Large Family
A large family, with seven children, were moving to Milptias. They were having a difficult time finding an apartment to live in. Many apartments were large enough, but the landlords objected to the large family. After several days of searching, the father asked the mother to take the four younger children to visit the cemetery while he took the older three to find an apartment. After they had looked most of the morning they found a place that was just right. Then the landlord asked the usual question: “How many children do you have?” The father answered with a deep sigh, “Seven… but four are with their dear mother in…
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Ole and Lena’s bull took sick and died
Animal Jokes & Milpitas Jokes Ole and Lena’s bull took sick and died, so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one. Ole had to get the crops in and couldn’t leave the farm, so Lena took the Altamont Corridor Express to Escalon to buy a bull. If she was successful, she would take the train back to the farm, then she and Ole would go to town with the truck to pick up their newly purchased bull. The bidding was furious at the livestock auction, and Lena found herself bidding on the last remaining bull. It took everything she had but ten cents, but she was…
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Cultural Differences Explained
Milpitas Jokes This is to help my Asian American and Chicano friends better understand the cultural differences among Anglo cultural groups. We aren’t all alike! There are basically four types: Aussies (Australians), Brits (Great Britain), Canadians (And don’t you DARE call them anything else!) and your typical, everyday Milpitan (American mutt.) Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. Milpitans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that’s the government’s job. Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being…
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Fire at the Semiconductor Plant
Milpitas Jokes One dark night in Milpitas, a fire started inside the local semiconductor plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the semiconductor company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!” As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, the president of…
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Litter Problem Solved
A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke. A few years ago, the City of Milpitas had a litter problem. A once-clean section of town had become an eyesore because people had stopped using the trash cans. There were cigarette butts, beer bottles, chocolate wrappers, newspapers and other trash littering the streets. Obviously, the sanitation department was concerned, so they sought ways to clean up the city. One idea was to double the littering fine from 25 dollars to 50 dollars for each offense. They tried this, but it had little effect. Another approach was to increase the number of litter-agents who patrolled the area. This was more of the same, that is,…
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Siren Sounds-Police Blotter Humor
Milpitas Jokes These are really true! From the Milpitas Post’s Police Blotter. April 9, 1998 No Second Chances For Alleged Shoe Thief After allegedly stealing a pair of shoes from Mervyn’s Department Store, a suspected thief wore them when he made a return visit to the store March 30 at 8:30 p.m. According to officers, the suspect was not happy with the stolen shoes and exchanged them for a more comfortable pair. Security then stopped the man as he tried to walk out of the store without paying for the shoes. Police arrested Mark Allen Cameron, 36, of Milpitas on suspicion of theft. [I guess the suspect heard that Mervyn’s…
