Milpitas Jokes & Religious Jokes A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in Milpitas. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. “A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd — no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. “A PRIEST, PLEASE!” the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old man of at least eighty years of age. “Mr. Policeman,” says the man, “I’m not a priest. I’m not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I’m living behind St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church on…

Religious Jokes A wealthy Silicon Valley venture capitalist went to his vicar and said, “I want you and your wife to take a three month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I’ll have a surprise for you.” The vicar accepted the offer and he and his wife went off to the Middle East. Three months later they returned to Milpitas and were met by the wealthy parishioner, who told them while they were gone, he had had a new church built. “It’s the finest building money can buy, vicar,” said the man, “No expense was spared.” He was right: it was a magnificent edifice…

Religious Jokes Whenever your kids are out of control you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to God’s kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: “Don’t.” “Don’t what?” Adam asked. “Don’t eat the Forbidden Fruit.” God replied. “Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve, we got Forbidden Fruit!” “No way!” “WAY!” “Don’t eat that fruit!” said God. “Why?” “Because I am your Father and I said so!” said God, wondering why he hadn’t stopped after making the elephants. A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break…