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Fishermen Catch A Mermaid
Three dads from Milpitas were out having a relaxing day fishing at Spring Lake, in Ed Levin County Park, when one of them hooks something big, and when his buddies help him haul it in, they discover it’s a mermaid. She begs to be set free and promises to grant each of them one wish in return. The UCSC Extension professor just doesn’t believe it and says: “Ok, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q.” The mermaid says: “Done.” Suddenly, he starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight. The Stellartech scientist is so amazed he says to the mermaid: “Triple my I.Q.” The mermaid…
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The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas?
If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California. In another episode, one of the Muppets correctly guesses 3+2, and wins a three-day, two-night, all expense paid trip to Milpitas, California. Still looking for that one.
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Historical trivia: Milpitas’ history as the constant butt of nationwide jokes
By Eric Shapiro, June 17, 2023, in The Milpitas Beat The Milpitas Beat last Saturday caught up with Milpitas Historical Society President Bill Hare for a fun, quick chat about our city’s long yet forgotten history as the butt of endless jokes around the nation… According to Hare, for about a century, a comparable cultural sentiment was in circulation about a “man from Milpitas…” No man in particular, just a general, fictional Milpitas resident… The Milpitas Historical Society can trace the whole thing back to news articles from the 1860s. According to Hare, “In 1863, there was talk of California maybe leaving the union and becoming a slave state…There was…
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Rules for Writing the Blues
1. Most Blues begin, “Woke up this morning…” 2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.” 3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes… sort of: “Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound.” 4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck…
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A Milpitas Cowboy’s Guide to Life
Milpitas Jokes Don’t squat with your spurs on. Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t. It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror…
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Laughing in the Dark
Milpitas Jokes New slogan for Silicon Valley: “Unlike the rest of the country, our people are bright and our lights are dim.” Bay Area Comedian, Clifford Fewel PG&E now officially stands for “Power Grid Envy.” Los Angeles Comedian, Perry Kurtz It’s a big night in Disneyland in California as they open their new theme park ‘California Adventure.’ However, due to the power outages in California, the Country Bear Jamboree will performed unplugged.” Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live Jay Leno suggests that California conserve energy by doing away with the yellow part of traffic lights “because nobody pays attention to those anyway.” …
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Two Elderly Milpitas Ladies Got Together
Milpitas Jokes Two elderly Milpitas ladies had been friends since their 30s. Now in their 80s they still get together a couple of times a week to play cards. One day they were playing gin rummy and one of them said, “You know we’ve been friends for many years and, please don’t get mad, but for the life of me I can’t remember your name. Please tell me what it is.” Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least 3 minutes. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?” A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke
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Disciplining Silicon Valley Kids
Milpitas Jokes A frustrated Silicon Valley dad vented, “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own color TV, iPhone, computer, and DVD player.” “So what do you do?” asked his friend. “I send him to MY room!” exclaimed the father. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke
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Milpitas Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas? Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California. The Art Sold, but … An artist asked the Yolette, curator at the Community Art and History Museums, if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. Cultural Differences Explained This is to help my Asian American and Chicano friends better understand the differences among Anglo cultural groups. Disciplining Silicon Valley Kids When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own…
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Religious Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Catholic Litany In A Pinch A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in Milpitas. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. Don’t eat the Forbidden Fruit “Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve, we got Forbidden Fruit!” God is Missing. We’re in Trouble! Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. High Tech Church Built in Milpitas “A church with only one pew?” asked the vicar. In Memory of Those Who…
