Covid Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Are we there yet?
Dr. Fauci driving SUV with lots of kids yelling, “Are we there yet?” as approaching “Normal” lane marker.
Breaking News Joke
Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms!
Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns
You can’t say when this lockdown will be over, *Kenya*?
COVID advice for Geeks
COVID advice from Silicon Valley County Health Department, which has been sending out advice in many languages. Seems appropriate they also send it out in code!
Covid-19 BINGO
Usual BINGO rules, with this exception: If any game player sees someone sneeze or cough without a mask and into the open air, the game is over, and the player with most boxes covered wins that round.
Covid-19 is making me crack up!
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
Covid Vaccine Memes
My mate got their covid vaccine yesterday and I can tell you the most prominent side effect is the inability to shut up about getting the covid vaccine.
Daily Affirmations to Avoid
One of the things we DO have control over is being more mindful of the types of messages and words we are repeating to ourselves. Our thoughts have a lot of power over us and directly impact how we feel.
Dating in the Time of Coronavirus
You’ve seen the events announcements here for online speed dating, right? So here’s how it works for these singles.
Highs and Lows of Wearing Face Masks
Due to the order to wear face masks, some humorous observations have been made.
I Will Survive, Coronavirus version for teachers going online
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never teach through Canvas all the time
But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along…
Legoland Discovery Center at Great Mall Reopening
Covid-19 Updates regarding the Lego Discovery Center at the Great Mall in Milpitas.
Licking Is Totally the Same as Hand-washing, Right?
Me: Why are your hands wet?
4 Year Old: I licked them.
Look, I don’t come into your home office and tell you to get out of the tub!
Cartoon.
Naked Truth about Covid-19 and Sheltering in Place
So we’re into our 5th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there’s a lot of truth mixed in to consider…
Neil Diamond vs CDC on Hands, Touching Hands
Neil Diamond: Hands,
CDC: Yes, wash them for at least 20 seconds.
Neil Diamond: touching hands,
CDC: No! Please don’t touch hands!
Quarantine Insights One-liners
Whose idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.
A Recap of the First Three Weeks with Covid-19
Here’s a recap of the last three weeks, courtesy of Peter Lengsfelder.
AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?
CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.
Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke
The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic!
Science Explained By Children
What is Covonovirus? Explained to Kids by National Geographic: If you’ve been watching the news lately, chances are you’ll have heard lots about an illness that’s affecting people around the world, called coronavirus.
Stop complaining! You need to keep it on.
Dog grins at master wearing face mask.
T’was 3 weeks before Christmas
T’was 3 weeks before Christmas, And all through the town,
People wore masks, That covered their frown.
Where’s Waldo? Social Distancing Edition
“When I saw the cartoon today, it made me think of how the things we took for granted as a child back then are no longer considered “SAFE.”
William Shakespeare Gets His Covid Vaccine
William Shakespeare becomes the 2nd person to receive the Pfizer-BioNTech #COVID19 vaccine (outside of a trial) in Coventry, England.