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Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorites
My favorite jokes found online over the years. Some jokes given a Milpitas twist. Jokes By Topic Amazing Facts Animal Jokes Computing Jokes Covid Jokes Education Jokes Family Life Jokes Holiday Jokes Christmas Jokes Kids Jokes Men’s Jokes Milpitas Jokes Money Jokes On the Job Jokes Philosophical Jokes Political Jokes Religious Jokes Women Jokes Alphabetical List Advice For Married Women: Then and Now Just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you’d like to eat and at what time. Women Jokes The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas? Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California.…
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Rules for Writing the Blues
1. Most Blues begin, “Woke up this morning…” 2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, “I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town.” 3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes… sort of: “Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound.” 4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck…
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Amazing Facts – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
All the Urban Legends Rolled Into One No need to read all those other urban legends, etc. ever again. Here they are, all in one. Biggest Lies Campaign financing has nothing to do with how I vote. Breaking News Joke Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms! The local spas and wineries are the designated local quarantine centers. Camping With Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip in the Sunol Regional Wilderness. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.” Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns *Oman*, I really can’t…
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Put on your groaning face…. More puns.
Amazing Facts A pun has not completely matured until it is full groan. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. I changed my iPod‘s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now. Jokes about German sausages are the wurst. I know a guy…
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Densa IQ Test
Amazing Facts You’ve heard of MENSA the group for geniuses with IQ’s of 140 and above? Well this test is similar, it’s from DENSA and it’s a lot more fun. Here’s the quiz with the answers. Do they have a 4th of July in England? Yes/No Answer ___ Yes___ How many birthdays does the average man have? Answer _1, Just one!_ Some months have 31 days; how many have 28? Answer _12, all of them!_ How many outs are there in an inning? Answer_6, three per side!_ Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister? Yes/No Answer _No – because he is dead!_ Divide 30…
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Other People
Amazing Facts Have you ever thought any of these statement ever applied to “other people” who were not like you? Join the crowd. These same stereotypes have been applied to “other people” for at least 400 years! They are over-sexed They are good lovers, better than you are anyway They will seduce your spouse away from you They will rape They will pillage, steal from you, terrorize you They will take your children either mentally or physically They are greedy “gold diggers” and will force you into giving them your wealth They are drunks and drug addicts They have weird, superstitious beliefs They are gullible, will believe anything you tell…
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Biggest Lies
Amazing Facts & Political Jokes 3 Biggest Software Lies: The program’s fully tested and bugfree. We’re working on the documentation. Of course we can modify it. 3 Biggest Computer Room Lies: As long as you remember to ‘SAVE’ your input, you’ll never lose any files. We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door. The new machines on order. 3 Biggest Large Company Lies: We have an entrepreneurial spirit here. People are our greatest resource. We say ‘let the marketplace decide’. 3 Biggest Small Company Lies: We have an entrepreneurial spirit here. The boss is just one of the guys. Staying small is a conscious decision.…
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Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke
Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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How Poor We Really Are
Money Jokes & Amazing Facts One day a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. They stayed one night and one day in the farm of a very humble farm house. At the end of the trip and back home the father asked the son, “What did you think of the trip?” The son replied, “Very nice, Dad.” Father: “Did you notice how poor they were?” Son: “Yes.” Father: “What did you learn?” Son: “I learned that we have one dog in the house and they have four. We have a fountain in…
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Breaking News Joke
Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes BREAKING NEWS! Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms! Best course of action is to quarantine them away from men and children! The local spas and wineries are the designated local quarantine centers. Send women immediately! No contact for 14 days while they live in misery here: Hairdressers, Hair Salons, Barber Shops-Best in Milpitas These are the best hair salons to get your hair done in Milpitas. Some also offer other beauty services, such as nails. While many offer walk-in service, it is always best to make an appointment, which often can be done online at the parlor’s website. or here:…
