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Go Milpitas

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        • Clean Air Incentives
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        • Smog Check Stations
      • Hotels
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        • Calaveras – Sierra Rd Loop
        • FasTrak in Milpitas
        • Maps
        • Traffic
      • Trains
        • Kiddie Train Rides
        • History of Railroads in California
          • Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad
          • Light Rail Opening 2004
        • Intercity Trains
        • Roller Coasters
        • Train Rides
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      • History – 1900s
        • Harry Wu’s Legacy
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      • Skatepark
      • Ski Northern California
      • Swimming Pools & Lessons
        • Pools-Keeping Cool
      • Trails & Bike Paths
      • Youth Sports
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      • Air Travel
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        • Cheapest Gas in Milpitas
        • Clean Air Incentives
        • Drivers Ed
        • Driving
        • Electric Vehicle Charging Stations
        • History of Transportation
        • Rent a Car, Truck or Trailer
        • Smog Check Stations
      • Hotels
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        • Calaveras – Sierra Rd Loop
        • FasTrak in Milpitas
        • Maps
        • Traffic
      • Trains
        • Kiddie Train Rides
        • History of Railroads in California
          • Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad
          • Light Rail Opening 2004
        • Intercity Trains
        • Roller Coasters
        • Train Rides
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Help Support GoMilpitas!

  • Jokes

    Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorites

    June 23, 2024 /
    Mom Jokes

    My favorite jokes found online over the years. Some jokes given a Milpitas twist. Jokes By Topic Amazing Facts Animal Jokes Computing Jokes Covid Jokes Education Jokes Family Life Jokes Holiday Jokes Christmas Jokes Kids Jokes Men’s Jokes Milpitas Jokes Money Jokes On the Job Jokes Philosophical Jokes Political Jokes Religious Jokes Women Jokes Alphabetical List Advice For Married Women: Then and Now Just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you’d like to eat and at what time. Women Jokes The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas? Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California.…

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    Ann Zeise

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    God is Missing. We’re in Trouble!

    April 10, 2018
    Milpitas Community Center, Milpitas, California

    Milpitas Community Center

    June 13, 2024
    Dog Breeds

    How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

    July 7, 2021
  • Jokes

    Recipe For Doing the Family Wash

    June 23, 2024 /
    Woman Washing Clothes Old Fashioned Way

    Written in its original spelling for a bride a few generations ago. bild a fire in back yard to heet kettle of rain water. set tubs so smoke won’t blow in eyes if wind is pert. shave one hold cake lie sope in bilin water. sort things, make three piles. 1 pile white. 1 pile cullord. 1 pile work britches and rags. stur flour in cold water to smooth, then thin down with bilin water. rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, then bile, rub collord, but don’t bile – just rench & starch. take white things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then rench, blew, and starch. spred…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Prejudice, discrimination, and stereotyping

    Other People

    October 16, 2020
    Women In Tech

    Silicon Valley Women’s Organizations and Resources

    June 13, 2024
    City Hall Lake

    Governing Laws of Milpitas, Santa Clara County, & California

    May 7, 2021
  • Jokes

    Women Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

    May 23, 2024 /

    Advice For Married Women: Then and Now Just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you’d like to eat and at what time. Buying Swimwear I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation known as buying a bathing costume. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Mom Song Mom’s Song and Teen’s Answer What a mom says in 24 hours, condensed into 2 minutes and 55 seconds. Sung to the William Tell Overture, by Anita Renfroe. The Mommy Test How do mommys know all those things? Mother’s Dictionary…

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    Ann Zeise

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    GoMilpitas is one of many green businesses in Milpitas

    GoMilpitas Produced by Sunbeams

    June 27, 2020
    Kurt Vonnegut

    Kurt Vonnegut’s Commencement Address At MIT

    June 5, 2018
    Memorial for those killed

    Handling Stress after a Disaster or Traumatic Incident

    June 28, 2020
  • Jokes

    Maxims of Old Age

    November 17, 2020 /

    1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. 2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it. 3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. 4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles. 5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late. 6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. 7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. 8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative. 9. Remember, if you lose…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Mils Patio Dining

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    July 3, 2024
    DZ Open Lens Productions

    Sun: Beauty or the Beast (Skin Cancer Discussed)

    June 23, 2024
    A Round Tuit

    A Round Tuit

    July 5, 2018
  • Jokes

    No Cookies, No Candy, No Gum

    September 29, 2020 /
    Woman Shopping with Toddler

    Women Jokes A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her “no.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. It won’t be long.” He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Ellen, don’t cry.…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Being A Kid is Not a Crime-No Daytime Curfew!

    June 29, 2020
    Geek with Beer

    Web Addiction Holiday Sing Along

    December 8, 2020

    Telephone Numbers for City of Milpitas

    June 19, 2020
  • Jokes

    Mother’s Dictionary

    July 10, 2020 /
    Overworked Mother

    Women Jokes A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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    Ann Zeise

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    Skatepark Milpitas

    Skatepark at Milpitas Sports Center

    May 1, 2024
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    Italian Restaurants in Milpitas

    June 30, 2018
    Milpitas High Trojan Right

    A Perfect Partnership: School & Program Needs

    September 10, 2020
  • Jokes

    The Mommy Test

    May 7, 2020 /
    Red ribbon forming the word 'mom', isolated on white

    Women Jokes This is actually a true story but, all the full-time moms I know have gotten a chuckle out of it. — From a faithful contributor. I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that. “Why?” “Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs.” At this point she looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff?” “Uh,” I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, “Um, it’s on the mommy test. You have…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Being A Kid is Not a Crime-No Daytime Curfew!

    June 29, 2020
    AA meeting

    Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitation

    June 10, 2024
    Sunnyhills Board Members

    Neighborhood Associations

    July 15, 2021
  • Jokes

    Mom’s Song and Teen’s Answer

    May 7, 2020 /
    Red ribbon forming the word 'mom', isolated on white

    Women Jokes Anita Renfroe | William Tell Momisms | Official Version Anita Renfroe sums up all the things that a mother says to her children in a three-minute song called “Momisms” set to the William Tell Overture. This is the official version by Anita Renfroe. Purchase full DVD at www.AnitaRenfroe.com. Video and audio available on iTunes. The Child Song (Answer to the Mom Song) This is what a child would say to her mother in a 24-hour period. It has been made as a response to Anita Renfroe’s Mom Song, to the sound of William Tell Overture. With lyrics. Let me stay, let me stay in bed a little more…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Coffee & Tea

    Coffee & Tea Shops in Milpitas

    April 5, 2023
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    Milpitas Jobs

    September 17, 2023
    Milpitas: The Century of Little Cornfields

    Pioneer Era – 1800s in Silicon Valley

    June 19, 2024
  • Jokes

    Forgetful Poem

    May 7, 2020 /
    Forgetful Poem

    Philosopical Jokes My forgetter’s getting better But my rememberer is broke. To you that may seem funny but, To me, that is no joke. For when I’m “here” I’m wondering If I really should be “there.” And, when I try to think it through, I haven’t got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say “what am I here for?” I wrack my brain, but all in vain A zero, is my score. At times I put something away Where it is safe, but, Gee! The person it is safest from Is, generally, me! When shopping I may see someone, Say “Hi” and have a chat, Then, when…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Milpitas Community Center, Milpitas, California

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    Daniel McQuigg, MHS teacher arrested

    Ex Milpitas Teacher and San Mateo Resident Arrested

    August 17, 2023
    Officer Pham with Ducklings

    Officer did not quack under pressure!

    July 8, 2021
  • Jokes

    Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar

    November 16, 2019 /
    Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar

    December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. December 2 Have Cantabile Children’s Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. December 3 Using candlewick and hand-gilded, miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener. December 4 Repaint St. Elizabeth Catholic Church‘s ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim. December 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself. December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration. December 7 Debug Windows ’10. December 9 Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth. December 11 Lay Faberge egg. December 12 Take Dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble. December 13 Collect…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Greg Wohlman

    New Milpitas High School principal Greg Wohlman brings experience & grit

    July 31, 2023
    Daniel McQuigg, MHS teacher arrested

    Ex Milpitas Teacher and San Mateo Resident Arrested

    August 17, 2023
    animated Roman Chariot

    US Standard Railroad Gauge

    August 4, 2018
12

How to Make GoMilpitas into an app on your iPhone or iPad.

Share box with arrow On your device, select the “Share” icon and under that select “Add to Home Screen.”

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