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Vehicles – Shopping, Sharing, and Service for Cars in Milpitas
Milpitas has been a car-town since its inception when it incorporated around the new Ford factory being built here. A fair number of the Mustangs built at that factory have been lovingly maintained by local residents, and we look forward each June to the car show. Advice & Assistance Car Detailers Clean Air Incentives Clubs Dealers Design Gas Parts Rent a Car or Truck Repairs Ride Sharing Road Service Smog Check Stations Storage Tires and Brakes Used Vehicles Advice & Assistance Bill of Sale for Automobile Nolo Press sells these forms right online. You fill it out online, and then pay to get the printed version. Inexpensive way to sell…
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Counseling: Help and Support with Problems
Health Services in and near Milpitas Feeling suicidal? Milpitas resources at: Suicide Prevention Resources in Milpitas and SCC Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitation Handling Stress Suicide Prevention Resources What Trauma Victims Need You to Know Crisis Support In an effort to support your wellness The County of Santa Clara Behavioral Health Services Department has developed some information sheets to help you cope effectively during these Covid19 Pandemic times: Coping with Stress During Infectious Disease Outbreaks (English), 03-17-2020 Coping with Stress During Infectious Disease Outbreaks—Taking Care of Children (English), 03-17-2020 Coping with Stress During Infectious Disease Outbreaks (Chinese), 03-17-2020 Coping with Stress During Infectious Disease Outbreaks—Taking Care of Children (Chinese), 03-17-2020 Coping…
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A Milpitas Cowboy’s Guide to Life
Milpitas Jokes Don’t squat with your spurs on. Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t. It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror…
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Laughing in the Dark
Milpitas Jokes New slogan for Silicon Valley: “Unlike the rest of the country, our people are bright and our lights are dim.” Bay Area Comedian, Clifford Fewel PG&E now officially stands for “Power Grid Envy.” Los Angeles Comedian, Perry Kurtz It’s a big night in Disneyland in California as they open their new theme park ‘California Adventure.’ However, due to the power outages in California, the Country Bear Jamboree will performed unplugged.” Jimmy Fallon on Saturday Night Live Jay Leno suggests that California conserve energy by doing away with the yellow part of traffic lights “because nobody pays attention to those anyway.” …
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Two Elderly Milpitas Ladies Got Together
Milpitas Jokes Two elderly Milpitas ladies had been friends since their 30s. Now in their 80s they still get together a couple of times a week to play cards. One day they were playing gin rummy and one of them said, “You know we’ve been friends for many years and, please don’t get mad, but for the life of me I can’t remember your name. Please tell me what it is.” Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least 3 minutes. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?” A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke
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Disciplining Silicon Valley Kids
Milpitas Jokes A frustrated Silicon Valley dad vented, “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own color TV, iPhone, computer, and DVD player.” “So what do you do?” asked his friend. “I send him to MY room!” exclaimed the father. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke
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Milpitas Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas? Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California. The Art Sold, but … An artist asked the Yolette, curator at the Community Art and History Museums, if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. Cultural Differences Explained This is to help my Asian American and Chicano friends better understand the differences among Anglo cultural groups. Disciplining Silicon Valley Kids When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own…
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Religious Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Catholic Litany In A Pinch A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in Milpitas. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. Don’t eat the Forbidden Fruit “Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve, we got Forbidden Fruit!” God is Missing. We’re in Trouble! Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. High Tech Church Built in Milpitas “A church with only one pew?” asked the vicar. In Memory of Those Who…
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Political Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Biggest Lies Campaign financing has nothing to do with how I vote. On the Revelation of William Bennett’s Gambling Habit Bill Bennett told a grateful nation, ‘Be moral. Just resist temptation.’ . . . . . . . Add Later How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb? One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed, … Life As An American We will work hard on a farm so we can move into Milpitas where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm. McCain’s Acceptance Speech Blooper “We believe everyone has something to contribute and deserves…
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Philosophical Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Daily Affirmations to Avoid As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. Forgetful Poem My forgetter’s getting better, But my rememberer is broke. To you that may seem funny but, To me, that is no joke. Kurt Vonnegut’s Commencement Address At MIT Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen. Philosophy of Life You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. A Round Tuit Are you always saying you’ll get around to it? Well, here’s a *round tuit* for you. Seven Wonders of the World A group of Geography students were…
