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Disciplining Silicon Valley Kids
Milpitas Jokes A frustrated Silicon Valley dad vented, “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own color TV, iPhone, computer, and DVD player.” “So what do you do?” asked his friend. “I send him to MY room!” exclaimed the father. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke
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Milpitas Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas? Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California. The Art Sold, but … An artist asked the Yolette, curator at the Community Art and History Museums, if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. Cultural Differences Explained This is to help my Asian American and Chicano friends better understand the differences among Anglo cultural groups. Disciplining Silicon Valley Kids When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own…
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Religious Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Catholic Litany In A Pinch A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in Milpitas. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. Don’t eat the Forbidden Fruit “Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve, we got Forbidden Fruit!” God is Missing. We’re in Trouble! Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. High Tech Church Built in Milpitas “A church with only one pew?” asked the vicar. In Memory of Those Who…
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Political Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Biggest Lies Campaign financing has nothing to do with how I vote. On the Revelation of William Bennett’s Gambling Habit Bill Bennett told a grateful nation, ‘Be moral. Just resist temptation.’ . . . . . . . Add Later How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb? One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed, … Life As An American We will work hard on a farm so we can move into Milpitas where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm. McCain’s Acceptance Speech Blooper “We believe everyone has something to contribute and deserves…
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Philosophical Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Daily Affirmations to Avoid As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. Forgetful Poem My forgetter’s getting better, But my rememberer is broke. To you that may seem funny but, To me, that is no joke. Kurt Vonnegut’s Commencement Address At MIT Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen. Philosophy of Life You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. A Round Tuit Are you always saying you’ll get around to it? Well, here’s a *round tuit* for you. Seven Wonders of the World A group of Geography students were…
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Were you a kid in the Fifties or so?
Philosopical Jokes Everybody makes fun of our childhood! Comedians joke. Grandkids snicker. Twenty-something’s shudder and say “Eeeew!” But was our childhood really all that bad? Judge for yourself: – In 1953 The US population was less than 150 million… Yet you knew more people then, and knew them better… And that was good. – The average annual salary was under $3,000… Yet our parents could put some of it away for a rainy day and still live a decent life… And that was good. – A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents… But it was safe for a five-year-old to skate to the store and buy one… And that…
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Philosophy of Life
Philosopical Jokes Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to…
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On the Job Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Bad Mistakes On Resumes “Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.” Buzzword Bingo My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically. Equal Employment Opportunity Help Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and MUST be bilingual. Planning the Company Holiday Party I’m happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. Top 21 Signs That You Work in Milpitas Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. When Riding a Dead…
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Top 21 Signs That You Work in Milpitas
21. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 20. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they don’t have email addresses. 19. Keeping up with news entails adding the Go Milpitas! homepage to your bookmarks. 18. You have a “to do list” that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off. 17. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents. 16. Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains. 15. You consider 2nd day Air Delivery and…
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Money Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
AI Tax Preparer Program Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer Program. The Day the NASDAQ Died A long, long week ago I can still remember how the market used to make me smile… How Poor We Really Are One day a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. Official Market Forecast Sales and income figures show an easing up of the rate at which business is easing off. Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
