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Covid-19 BINGO
Covid Jokes Usual BINGO rules, with this exception: If any game player sees someone sneeze or cough without a mask and into the open air, the game is over, and the player with most boxes covered wins that round. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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The Hills Meet Their Fate In Milpitas
Milpitas Jokes Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Silicon Valley, California; as it happens, in the Milpitas hills. They’re driving a rental car along a rare deserted highway. It’s late, and raining very hard. Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows…
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Biggest Lies
Amazing Facts & Political Jokes 3 Biggest Software Lies: The program’s fully tested and bugfree. We’re working on the documentation. Of course we can modify it. 3 Biggest Computer Room Lies: As long as you remember to ‘SAVE’ your input, you’ll never lose any files. We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door. The new machines on order. 3 Biggest Large Company Lies: We have an entrepreneurial spirit here. People are our greatest resource. We say ‘let the marketplace decide’. 3 Biggest Small Company Lies: We have an entrepreneurial spirit here. The boss is just one of the guys. Staying small is a conscious decision.…
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A Perfect Partnership: School & Program Needs
Schools looking for businesses and non-profits (CDOs) to partner with schools to provide funding or sources for the following school and program needs in Milpitas. The school district may edit this table from time to time in their Google Docs. Check here for A Perfect Partnership: MUSD & CBOs Sept. 9, 2020 School/Program Needs.
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Quarantine Insights One-liners
Covid Jokes Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly. Whose idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake. My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge. Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be…
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SCU Lightning Complex Fire, August 2020
News about how SCU Lightning Complex Fire is affecting us here in Milpitas, California. Mandatory evacuation area seems to include Whispering Hills Ranch and other horse ranches in the hills, Silva’s apricot orchard, Kim Parker’s Last Word Ranch, and possibly both adobe houses. GoMilpitas is located at the blob I hastily drew in the corner of Yosemite and Piedmont roads, safe for now, but smoky. Bill Hare, who produces world famous a cappella mixes from his home up at Calaveras and Felter roads, is also being evacuated. On his property is the historic Laguna one-room school, the first in Milpitas. Larger area map here. Evacuation Resource Center for Santa Clara…
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I Will Survive, Coronavirus version for teachers going online
Covid Jokes Lyrics by Michael Bruening View video here. At first I was afraid, I was petrified Kept thinking I could never teach through Canvas all the time But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long And I grew strong And I learned how to get along And so I’m back Students are gone As all my colleagues try to figure out how they’re gonna get along I should have kept up with the tech, not skipped that class on course design If I’d known for just one second I’d be teaching all-online Go on now, go, leave me alone I’ve got to figure…
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Earthquakes
California earthquake faults and recent earthquakes, and how they affect Milpitas, San Jose, and the San Francisco Bay Area. Did You Feel It? This is a U.S. Geological Survey project to collect information about ground shaking following significant earthquakes. Following an earthquake, please tell us what you felt by filling out the questionnaire for the appropriate earthquake. Best site to find information about a very recent earthquake. Advice Earthquake Information Earthquakes Recently History Kids Earthquake Links Maps Public Seismic Networks Advice Are you ready for an earthquake? The next time disaster strikes, you may not have much time to act. Prepare now for a sudden emergency. Learn how to protect…
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Daily Affirmations to Avoid
Covid Jokes & Philosopical Jokes As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment. I honor my personality flaws, for…
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Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke
Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
