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Licking Is Totally the Same as Hand-washing, Right?
Covid Jokes Me: Did you wash your hands? 4-year-old: No. Me: Why are your hands wet? 4: I licked them. That should kill the germs. How to Stop Kids From Licking Their Fingers A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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The Mommy Test
Women Jokes This is actually a true story but, all the full-time moms I know have gotten a chuckle out of it. — From a faithful contributor. I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that. “Why?” “Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs.” At this point she looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff?” “Uh,” I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, “Um, it’s on the mommy test. You have…
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Mom’s Song and Teen’s Answer
Women Jokes Anita Renfroe | William Tell Momisms | Official Version Anita Renfroe sums up all the things that a mother says to her children in a three-minute song called “Momisms” set to the William Tell Overture. This is the official version by Anita Renfroe. Purchase full DVD at www.AnitaRenfroe.com. Video and audio available on iTunes. The Child Song (Answer to the Mom Song) This is what a child would say to her mother in a 24-hour period. It has been made as a response to Anita Renfroe’s Mom Song, to the sound of William Tell Overture. With lyrics. Let me stay, let me stay in bed a little more…
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Forgetful Poem
Philosopical Jokes My forgetter’s getting better But my rememberer is broke. To you that may seem funny but, To me, that is no joke. For when I’m “here” I’m wondering If I really should be “there.” And, when I try to think it through, I haven’t got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say “what am I here for?” I wrack my brain, but all in vain A zero, is my score. At times I put something away Where it is safe, but, Gee! The person it is safest from Is, generally, me! When shopping I may see someone, Say “Hi” and have a chat, Then, when…
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Dating in the Time of Coronavirus
Covid Jokes Love in Lockdown We went speed dating on Zoom and found love. You’ve seen the events announcements here for online speed dating, right? So here’s how it works for these singles. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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All the Urban Legends Rolled Into One
Amazing Facts & Computing Jokes No need to read all those other urban legends, etc. ever again. Here they are, all in one: I know this guy in Milpitas whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub, it was full of ice, and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said, “Call 911!” But he was afraid to…
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Are You Acting Too Much Like a Teacher?
Let’s find out if you are acting too much like a teacher: 1. Do you ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home? 2. Do you move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the table? 3. Do you ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends? 4. Do you hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes? 5. Do you refer to happy hour as “snack time”? 6. Do you declare “no cuts” when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line? 7. Do you say “I like…
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Proverbs: Kids’ Versions
Religious Jokes A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. Here are the results: As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You . . . Mess It Up. Better Be Safe Than . . . Punch A 5th Grader. Strike While The . . . Bug Is Close. It’s Always Darkest Before . . . Daylight Savings Time. Never Under Estimate The Power Of . . . Termites. You Can Lead A Horse To Water But . . . How? Don’t Bite The Hand That . .…
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Ways To Really Annoy Telemarketers
Amazing Facts Telephone Service in Milpitas Includes a section with really good advice for totally avoiding telemarketing calls all together. 1. If a telemarketer wants to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Alternately, you can tell them, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…” When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your…
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The Art Sold, but …
Milpitas Jokes An artist asked the Yolette, curator at the Community Art and History Museums, if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news,” the Yolette replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.” “That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?” “The guy was your doctor.” A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
