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Apartment Hunting With A Large Family
A large family, with seven children, were moving to Milptias. They were having a difficult time finding an apartment to live in. Many apartments were large enough, but the landlords objected to the large family. After several days of searching, the father asked the mother to take the four younger children to visit the cemetery while he took the older three to find an apartment. After they had looked most of the morning they found a place that was just right. Then the landlord asked the usual question: “How many children do you have?” The father answered with a deep sigh, “Seven… but four are with their dear mother in…
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I Think Santa Claus is a Woman
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It’s as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec.24th, when they (with amazing calm) call other errant men for a last-minute shopping spree. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and…
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High Tech Church Built in Milpitas
Religious Jokes A wealthy Silicon Valley venture capitalist went to his vicar and said, “I want you and your wife to take a three month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I’ll have a surprise for you.” The vicar accepted the offer and he and his wife went off to the Middle East. Three months later they returned to Milpitas and were met by the wealthy parishioner, who told them while they were gone, he had had a new church built. “It’s the finest building money can buy, vicar,” said the man, “No expense was spared.” He was right: it was a magnificent edifice…
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Milpitas Square Shopping Center
This site is in no way affiliated or connected with Milpitas Square in Milpitas, CA. Most stores linked here are located in the Milpitas Square shopping center or nearby, but some advertisers may not. Check addresses and information carefully! An Evening at Milpitas Square Major Stores 99 Ranch Market California’s No. 1 Asian grocery store. Select fish still swimming and they will fillet for you. Become a Facebook fan of the market. Site in English and Chinese. 338 Barber Lane. Milpitas Square. Mayflower Seafood Restaurant 五月花 Specializes in Asian seafood entreés. Barbecue takeout and conference and banquet facilities available. Milpitas Square. 428 Barber Lane 408-922-2700 Banking and Investing Health &…
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Milpitas Square Hotels
Near Milpitas Square Shopping Center, South of 237 and West of 880 Hotels which are convenient to Cisco, KLA Tencor and Western Digital. Extended Stay America 330 Cypress Dr. Pet-friendly rooms available. On-premise coin-operated laundry facility. 408-433-9700 Hampton Inn Milpitas 215 Barber Lane Accessible hotel rooms. 408-428-9090 Sonesta San Jose 777 Bellew Dr. (South side of 237) Has large conference facilities. For the technically curious, they have an automated robotic butler to bring you stuff. 408-321-9500 Staybridge Suites 321 Cypress Drive Designed for the business traveler, we can shuttle you to work and pick you up again. Outdoor pool. 408-383-9500
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Greatest Baseball Player in the World
In Memory of Joe DiMaggio A Milpitas boy was overheard talking to himself as he strode through his backyard, baseball cap in place and toting ball and bat. “I’m the greatest baseball player in the world.” he said proudly. Then he tossed the ball in the air, swung and missed. Undaunted, he picked up the ball, threw it into the air and said to himself, “I’m the greatest baseball player ever!” He swung at the ball again, and again he missed. He paused a moment to examine the bat and ball carefully. Then once again he threw the ball into the air and said, “I’m the greatest baseball player who…
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Bad Mistakes On Resumés
Here are some real-life examples of bad mistakes on resumés: “My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.” “Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.” “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Milpitas chain store.” “Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.” “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.” “I am a rabid typist.” “Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side.” “Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.” “Proven ability to track…
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Ole and Lena’s bull took sick and died
Animal Jokes & Milpitas Jokes Ole and Lena’s bull took sick and died, so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one. Ole had to get the crops in and couldn’t leave the farm, so Lena took the Altamont Corridor Express to Escalon to buy a bull. If she was successful, she would take the train back to the farm, then she and Ole would go to town with the truck to pick up their newly purchased bull. The bidding was furious at the livestock auction, and Lena found herself bidding on the last remaining bull. It took everything she had but ten cents, but she was…
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The Day the NASDAQ Died
Money Jokes Sung to the tune of “American Pie”: A long, long week ago I can still remember how the market used to make me smile What I’d do when I had the chance Is get myself a cash advance And add another tech stock to the pile. But Jerome Powell made me shiver With every speech that he delivered Bad news on the rate front Still I’d take one more punt. I can’t remember if I cried When I heard about the CPI I lost my fortune and my pride The day the NASDAQ died. So bye-bye to my piece of the pie Now I’m gettin’ calls for margin…
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Equal Employment Opportunity
A Milpitas business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: “Help Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and MUST be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.” A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined a bit. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he…
