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Computer Problem Report Form
Computing Jokes 1. Describe your problem: 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: 4. Problem Severity: Minor Minor Minor Trivial 5. Nature of the problem: Locked Up Frozen Hung Strange Smell 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes ….. No 7. Is it turned on? Yes ….. No 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes ….. No 9. Have you made it worse? Yes 10. Have you had “a friend” who “Knows all about computers” try to fix it for you? Yes ….. No 11. Did they make it even worse? Yes 12. Have you read the manual? Yes …..…
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Protestant Christian Schools
Both protestant christian schools are located at the south end of Milpitas. One just within the Milpitas border, and one a few blocks into San Jose. Protestant Schools in Milpitas or Very Close By Foothill Seventh Day Adventist Elementary School Located at the corner of Landess and Yellowstone, Foothill provides co-educational K8 education, focusing on Christian values. 1991 Landess Ave., Milpitas, CA 95035 408-263-8137 Milpitas Christian School Physically located just south of the Milpitas border in San Jose, Milpitas Christian Schools provide day care, elementary and middle school education to a number of Milpitas residents. 3435 Birchwood Lane, San Jose, CA 95132 408-945-9722 Near Where We Work Campbell Christian Schools…
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Planning a Company Holiday Party
FROM: Ms. Pat Smith, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I’m happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our General Manager shows up dressed as Santa Claus! FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director DATE: December 2 RE: Christmas Party In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which…
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Kurt Vonnegut’s Commencement Address At MIT
Philosopical Jokes [Be sure to read the truth at the very end! This was possibly the first piece of Fake News to hit the young internet. ~ Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes] Kurt Vonnegut: Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your…
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Graffiti Terminators
Graffiti Terminators Volunteers Needed Individuals 16 or older Teams of an Adult and Youth under 16 Call Chris Challer for information: 408-586-3078 Volunteers called “The Terminators” are available to cover graffiti on private property FREE of charge as long as it is accessible and no more than 6 feet off the ground. Volunteers use neutral colors that may not match existing paint, however, if you already have matching paint, you may supply it for the use of the volunteers on your property. To request volunteer services and obtain a waiver, please call (408) 586-3078. The City also welcomes new volunteers. Tired of Graffiti in Your Neighborhood? The City of Milpitas…
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Fiber Optic Cable
Optic Trunk Comes Through Milpitas Sunday my son and I watched as the Utilities Construction Company strung fiber optic cable on top of (turned off) power towers that run parallel to Milpitas Boulevard, about a half block to the east. We chatted with an inspector for the company, who told us that they were going to be stringing the cable all around the Bay Area. This particular cable started in Hayward, so scenes like this will be common in the Bay Area for the next couple of weeks. Unlike another cable laying construction company that has been getting in trouble for laying cable through Indian burial grounds, this company specializes…
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Wind Storm, October 22, 2000
Wind Storm Blasts its Way Through Milpitas Dateline: October 22, 2000 By Ann Zeise Several people were injured when trees fell upon them during heavy winds. Power lines were knocked down and several sections of the city were without power at various times throughout the day. Some new construction at the Pac Bell station was blown over. Most citizens spent Sunday cleaning up debris or helping neighbors.
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Litter Problem Solved
A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke. A few years ago, the City of Milpitas had a litter problem. A once-clean section of town had become an eyesore because people had stopped using the trash cans. There were cigarette butts, beer bottles, chocolate wrappers, newspapers and other trash littering the streets. Obviously, the sanitation department was concerned, so they sought ways to clean up the city. One idea was to double the littering fine from 25 dollars to 50 dollars for each offense. They tried this, but it had little effect. Another approach was to increase the number of litter-agents who patrolled the area. This was more of the same, that is,…
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Grant Writing-Seven Deadly Sins of Grant Writing
Too often grant writers fall into these traps when applying for community grants. My thanks to the The Peninsula Community Foundation for allowing me to reproduce this information from one of their seminars. Using “grant-speak.” Avoid acronyms Avoid trite phrases “outcomes,” “cultural diversity.” Avoid big words Avoid complex sentences Not doing your homework before applying to a foundation. Make sure you fit the type of grant. 50% of applicants often are not eligible. Don’t ask for too much money. Include correct attachments Using the “Grants-R-Us” approach to seeking grants. Don’t use canned, “one size fits all” grants Pick your 5 best donors per year Be consistent: donors talk to each other.…
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Christmas Carol Quiz
These are the names of well-known Christmas caroles, rewritten in PC (pretty convoluted). If you like puzzles, try to decipher them. If not, just get a chuckle from matching up the translations! Place cursor over linked text and wait a second for the real title to appear. Or click on the hint, and a youtube will appear, playing the song. On an iPhone, click and hold on the linked lyrics, and you’ll just see the name of the real song. The songs aren’t random. They are my favorite recordings of these songs. Example: Heavenly beings at extreme altitudes my associates and I perceived auditory stimulus emanating from. Translation: “Angels we…
