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US Standard Railroad Gauge
Amazing Facts or How MilSpecs Live Forever The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 ft 8 1/2 in (1.44 m). That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why is that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English ex-patriots. Why did the English build ’em like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used. Why did they use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools as they used for building wagons, which used…
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Seven Wonders of the World
A group of Geography students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following got the most votes: 1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids 2. Taj Mahal 3. Grand Canyon 4. Panama Canal 5. Empire State Building 6. St. Peter’s Basilica 7. China’s Great Wall While gathering the votes, the teacher noticed one student, a quiet girl, hadn’t turned in her paper. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The quiet girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there were so many.” The teacher said, “Well, tell…
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This Sound Like City Council?
A Milpitas Mom Favorite Joke “When any principle, law, tenet, probability, happening, circumstance, or result can in no way be directly, indirectly, empirically, or circuitously proven, derived, implied, inferred, induced, deducted, estimated, or scientifically guessed, it will always for the purpose of convenience, expediency, political advantage, material gain, or personal comfort, or any combination of the above, or none of the above, be unilaterally and unequivocally assumed, proclaimed, and adhered to as absolute truth to be undeniably, universally, immutably, and infinitely so, until such time as it becomes advantageous to assume otherwise, maybe.”
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Ten Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter
A Milpitas Mom Favorite Joke Rule One : If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two : You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three : I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off. Please don’t take this as an…
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Fire at the Semiconductor Plant
Milpitas Jokes One dark night in Milpitas, a fire started inside the local semiconductor plant. Before long it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to fire departments miles around. After fighting the fire for over an hour, the semiconductor company president approached the fire chief and said, “All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $50,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!” As soon as the chief heard this, he ordered the firemen to strengthen their attack on the blaze. After two more hours of attacking the fire, the president of…
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When Riding a Dead Horse
Animal Jokes Milpitas community wisdom says, “When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” But in Milpitas businesses, the city government and (sometimes) our schools often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Saying things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.” Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. Increasing the standards to ride dead horses. Appointing a tiger team to revive the dead horse. Creating a training session to increase our riding ability. Comparing the state of dead…
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Christmas Riddles
A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke. Place cursor over the riddle text and wait a second for the riddle answer to appear. Or turn your device upside down. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? What is special about the Christmas alphabet? What do elves learn in school? If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? What do you…
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A Round Tuit
Philosopical Jokes This is a Tuit. Guard it with your life as Tuits are hard to come by, expecially the round ones. This is an indispen- sable item. It will help you become a more efficient worker. For years we have heard people say, “I’ll do it as soon as I get a Round Tuit.” Now that you have one, you can ac- complish all those things you put aside until you get a Round Tuit! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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Computer Problem Report Form
Computing Jokes 1. Describe your problem: 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: 4. Problem Severity: Minor Minor Minor Trivial 5. Nature of the problem: Locked Up Frozen Hung Strange Smell 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes ….. No 7. Is it turned on? Yes ….. No 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes ….. No 9. Have you made it worse? Yes 10. Have you had “a friend” who “Knows all about computers” try to fix it for you? Yes ….. No 11. Did they make it even worse? Yes 12. Have you read the manual? Yes …..…
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Planning a Company Holiday Party
FROM: Ms. Pat Smith, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I’m happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our General Manager shows up dressed as Santa Claus! FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director DATE: December 2 RE: Christmas Party In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which…
