Animal Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Beware of Bears
The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and Northern Sierra areas.
Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes
Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? They both drop their needles.
An Engineer Calculates Santa’s Trip
No known species of reindeer can fly. But it is estimated that there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer.
How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it?
How We Know Santa’s Reindeer Are Female
Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
In My Next Life I Want To Be A Bear
If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Milpitas Cowboy’s Guide to Life
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
Ole and Lena’s bull took sick and died
… so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one.
Original Trojan Horse Warning
This was forwarded to me by Cassandra–it looks legit.
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race
…and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
Rudolf, The Red
An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
Stop complaining! You need to keep it on.
2019 Stop complaining! You need to keep it on. It’s for your own good. 2020 Dog grins at master wearing face mask.
Taking a Load of Penguins to the Zoo
Penguins get a lift to the zoo. (Links about penguins and places to see them.)
What Does The Frog Say?
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
When Riding a Dead Horse
When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
Where Do Pets Come From?
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer: “Where do pets come from?”