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Covid-19 BINGO
Covid Jokes Usual BINGO rules, with this exception: If any game player sees someone sneeze or cough without a mask and into the open air, the game is over, and the player with most boxes covered wins that round. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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Quarantine Insights One-liners
Covid Jokes Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken behind it didn’t know how to socially distance properly. Whose idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake. My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge. Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be…
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I Will Survive, Coronavirus version for teachers going online
Covid Jokes Lyrics by Michael Bruening View video here. At first I was afraid, I was petrified Kept thinking I could never teach through Canvas all the time But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long And I grew strong And I learned how to get along And so I’m back Students are gone As all my colleagues try to figure out how they’re gonna get along I should have kept up with the tech, not skipped that class on course design If I’d known for just one second I’d be teaching all-online Go on now, go, leave me alone I’ve got to figure…
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Daily Affirmations to Avoid
Covid Jokes & Philosopical Jokes As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else’s fault. I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment. I honor my personality flaws, for…
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Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke
Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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Naked Truth about Covid-19 and Sheltering in Place
Covid Jokes So we’re into our 5th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there’s a lot of truth mixed in to consider. . . 1. So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap? 2. Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do. 3. When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me. 4. If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly…
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Breaking News Joke
Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes BREAKING NEWS! Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms! Best course of action is to quarantine them away from men and children! The local spas and wineries are the designated local quarantine centers. Send women immediately! No contact for 14 days while they live in misery here: Hairdressers, Hair Salons, Barber Shops-Best in Milpitas These are the best hair salons to get your hair done in Milpitas. Some also offer other beauty services, such as nails. While many offer walk-in service, it is always best to make an appointment, which often can be done online at the parlor’s website. or here:…
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Legoland Discovery Center at Great Mall Reopening
Covid Jokes Covid-19 Updates regarding the Lego Discovery Center at the Great Mall in Milpitas. UPDATE 3/18/2020 We are actively monitoring the situation with regards to the outbreak of COVID-19 coronavirus and are in regular contact with local health authorities. The safety and well-being of our guests and staff is our priority and we will take all necessary precautions to ensure their continued welfare. With that said, in an effort to mitigate the risk presented by the outbreak of COVID-19 and comply with mandates from local government and health authorities, we are temporarily postponing the opening of the attraction until further notice. If you have purchased advance tickets, you may…
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Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns
Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes *Oman*, I really can’t wait to *Rome* around. *Venice* this going to get over? You can’t say when this lockdown will be over, *Kenya*? Quarantine has made my *Delhi* routine too boring. I’ve been *Washington’s* of utensils. This *Spain* is real. Stay home, stay safe. What’s the *Russia*? Maybe *Indore* is not such a bad place after all. Wives are now *Cochin* their husbands in new skills (dish washing, mopping?) At this rate, I see my savings loses *Dublin* I’ve decided to finally wear my *New Jersey* which I’ve been storing for ages *Mysore* throat is on account of endless Zoom chats these days. We…
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Science Explained By Children
Amazing Facts & Covid Jokes Genetics explain why you look like your father. or, if you don’t, why you should. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they’re there. Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother. We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up. In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are…
