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Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorites
My favorite jokes found online over the years. Some jokes given a Milpitas twist. Jokes By Topic Amazing Facts Animal Jokes Computing Jokes Covid Jokes Education Jokes Family Life Jokes Holiday Jokes Christmas Jokes Kids Jokes Men’s Jokes Milpitas Jokes Money Jokes On the Job Jokes Philosophical Jokes Political Jokes Religious Jokes Women Jokes Alphabetical List Advice For Married Women: Then and Now Just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you’d like to eat and at what time. Women Jokes The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas? Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California.…
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Kids Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Fun Things To Do While Driving With Kids Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. God is Missing. We’re in Trouble! If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. Greatest Baseball Player in the World A homeschooling boy was overheard talking to himself, baseball cap in place and toting ball and bat. Homework Policy Long Term Assignments: These are given the night before they are due. Letter From A Scout Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. Pledge of Allegiance A child’s version of the Pledge, and a link to…
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Letter From A Scout
Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got…
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Next “Survivor” Show
Have you heard about the next planned “survivor” show? 6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids for 6 weeks. Each kid plays 2 sports and either takes music or dance classes and there is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned home clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, etc. The men only have access to TV when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only 1 TV between them and no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear make-up daily, which they must…
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What Does The Frog Say?
Animal Jokes A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter: Mother: “Great! What does the cat say?” Child: “Meow.” Mother: “What does the cow say?” Child: “Moo!” Mother: “Oh, you’re so smart! What does the frog say?” And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, “BUD.” [Note: the “BUD” link goes to an article about how the Budweiser Beer Company is aiming their advertising at kids, even as young as 3 years old!] A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke
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You Might Teach At Middle School If…
Isaiah Johnson, who plays George Washington for the national tour of the broadway show Hamilton in San Francisco, speaks with students at Rancho Milpitas Middle School on May 24. Photo by Stan Olszewski/SOSKIphoto You can converse in middle schoolese. You believe the staff room should be equipped with Valium salt licks. You stand on your front porch instructing the neighbor children to “Walk!” You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to only work 8 – 3 and have your summers free.” You refer to adults as “boys and girls.” You encourage your spouse by telling them they are a “good helper.” You believe chocolate is…
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Homework Policy
Here is an explanation of our homework policy : Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. The time should be budgeted in the following manner: 15 minutes looking for assignment 11 minues calling a friend for the assignment 23 minutes explaining to parents why the teacher is mean and just does not like children 8 minutes in the bathroom 10 minutes getting a snack 7 minutes checking the TV Guide 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the homework 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom to do the assignment Long Term Assignments: These are given the night before they are due.…
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Proverbs: Kids’ Versions
Religious Jokes A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. Here are the results: As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You . . . Mess It Up. Better Be Safe Than . . . Punch A 5th Grader. Strike While The . . . Bug Is Close. It’s Always Darkest Before . . . Daylight Savings Time. Never Under Estimate The Power Of . . . Termites. You Can Lead A Horse To Water But . . . How? Don’t Bite The Hand That . .…
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Apartment Hunting With A Large Family
A large family, with seven children, were moving to Milptias. They were having a difficult time finding an apartment to live in. Many apartments were large enough, but the landlords objected to the large family. After several days of searching, the father asked the mother to take the four younger children to visit the cemetery while he took the older three to find an apartment. After they had looked most of the morning they found a place that was just right. Then the landlord asked the usual question: “How many children do you have?” The father answered with a deep sigh, “Seven… but four are with their dear mother in…
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Greatest Baseball Player in the World
In Memory of Joe DiMaggio A Milpitas boy was overheard talking to himself as he strode through his backyard, baseball cap in place and toting ball and bat. “I’m the greatest baseball player in the world.” he said proudly. Then he tossed the ball in the air, swung and missed. Undaunted, he picked up the ball, threw it into the air and said to himself, “I’m the greatest baseball player ever!” He swung at the ball again, and again he missed. He paused a moment to examine the bat and ball carefully. Then once again he threw the ball into the air and said, “I’m the greatest baseball player who…
