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Intercity Trains
Amtrak Check here for reservations, trains and destinations, special savings and promotions, plan your trip, and more. Altamont Commuter Express On ACE, you can sip coffee, read the paper or work on your laptop during your commute. There’s a place to store your bike, a table to spread out paperwork, and clean, accessible bathrooms can’t find those in a car! Weekday Schedule. View train status alerts or have them sent by text message. Caltrain: Local and Baby Bullet Trains at San Jose Diridon Baby Bullet From the San Francisco to the San Jose terminals, travel time will be cut from an hour and 36 minutes on a local train to…
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William Shakespeare Gets His Covid Vaccine
Covid Jokes William Shakespeare becomes the 2nd person to receive the Pfizer-BioNTech #COVID19 vaccine (outside of a trial) in Coventry, England. Nurse: Which arm? WS: As you like it Nurse: was that painful? WS: Much ado about nothing. Nurse: you will have to have a second jab. WS: Measure for measure? Nurse: so what do you think of the govt handling of Covid? WS: Comedy of Errors. Actually I heard the second person to get the vaccine was Christopher Marlowe but William Shakespeare took all the credit. Actually it was Sir Francis Bacon, and he allowed Shakespeare to take the credit. All’s Well That Ends Well. The Taming of the…
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Where Do Pets Come From?
Animal Jokes A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer: “Where do pets come from?” Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.” And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you…
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Elmwood Jail – Contact Information & Map
The Santa Clara County correctional Facility is also known as Elmwood jail, has facilities for minimum- and medium-security men and women. Please first call the main Jail number, 408-299-2305, (From 5AM in the morning to 1AM in the middle of the night) before contacting me. I don’t work for the jail! I sleep a lot. If you would like to complain about not getting through on that number, contact our County Supervisor for District 3, Otto Lee, Phone: 408-299-5030 or Email: supervisor.lee@bos.sccgov.org. Covid-19 Concerns at Elmwood Jail Contact Information & Map How do I find information on an inmate? What time do inmates get released from Elmwood? About the Elmwood Jail Elmwood Jail…
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Maxims to Share
A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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What Trauma Victims Need You to Know
A friend, who was badly traumatized by her caregivers in early childhood and cruelty from employers, created this brochure, to be printed two-sided, to be handed to her health providers to help them understand her past, and how it can be triggered by them if they don’t take care to treat her humanely. For more information about Adverse Childhood Experiences check out the ACEs Connection website. This page is part of our continuing effort to provide support for those who have experienced trauma and may be suicidal and need to find help. Predictability: Everyone loves surprises! Not. Trauma survivors often prefer predictability because that feels safer. Space: Allow time for…
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Tax Considerations/Strategies for PPP loans and Grants
by Karen A. Hahn, CPA, Inc PPP #1: For those of you who received a PPP during the first round April – June of 2020, THE MONEY YOU SPENT FROM YOUR PPP LOAN WILL BE TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!! Be aware that California has not conformed to this non-taxable provision. The forgiveness of the loan will be taxable on California tax returns. There is a new simplified loan application for loans below $150,000. (This will apply to PPP 1 &2.) Form 3508EZ One page no documentation required. Long form is 3508, requires documentation to be attached. PPP #2: Same as original PPP Loan: The loan amount will be 2.5 times your monthly payroll (for most)…
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Bernie @ Milpitas City Hall
Put Bernie at your place! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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Pie Throwing Trend in Milpitas
Computing Jokes & Milpitas Jokes I think we have the makings of a new trend here since Bill Gates was “pied.” Anytime a computer exec says something stupid – POW – they get a pie in the face. I can just see it now: “… java virtual machine …” – WHAM – call the dry cleaners. “… the new upgrade is, of course, a whole new paradigm and thus incompatable with the original software …” – SMACK – they won’t do that again. “… you can surf the news faster, without changing either your connection or your modem …” – POW – 2 cream pies, one in each ear. “……
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Painting the Porch
Daryll had been out of school for close to two years. Needless to say, he was getting pretty desperate for money. He decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhood up on the hill and look for odd jobs as a handyman. Well, the first house he came to, a man answered the door and told Daryll, “Yeah, I have a job for ya. How would you like to paint the porch?” “Sure, that sounds great!” said Daryll. “Well, uh, how much do you want me to pay you?” said the man. “Is fifty bucks all right?” Daryll asked. “Yeah, that’s great. You’ll find all the paint and ladders you’ll…
