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Philosophical Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Daily Affirmations to Avoid As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. Forgetful Poem My forgetter’s getting better, But my rememberer is broke. To you that may seem funny but, To me, that is no joke. Kurt Vonnegut’s Commencement Address At MIT Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen. Philosophy of Life You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. A Round Tuit Are you always saying you’ll get around to it? Well, here’s a *round tuit* for you. Seven Wonders of the World A group of Geography students were…
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Were you a kid in the Fifties or so?
Philosopical Jokes Everybody makes fun of our childhood! Comedians joke. Grandkids snicker. Twenty-something’s shudder and say “Eeeew!” But was our childhood really all that bad? Judge for yourself: – In 1953 The US population was less than 150 million… Yet you knew more people then, and knew them better… And that was good. – The average annual salary was under $3,000… Yet our parents could put some of it away for a rainy day and still live a decent life… And that was good. – A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents… But it was safe for a five-year-old to skate to the store and buy one… And that…
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Philosophy of Life
Philosopical Jokes Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Brain cells come and go, but fat cells live forever. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to…
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On the Job Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Bad Mistakes On Resumes “Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.” Buzzword Bingo My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically. Equal Employment Opportunity Help Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and MUST be bilingual. Planning the Company Holiday Party I’m happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. Top 21 Signs That You Work in Milpitas Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. When Riding a Dead…
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Top 21 Signs That You Work in Milpitas
21. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 20. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they don’t have email addresses. 19. Keeping up with news entails adding the Go Milpitas! homepage to your bookmarks. 18. You have a “to do list” that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off. 17. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents. 16. Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains. 15. You consider 2nd day Air Delivery and…
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Money Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
AI Tax Preparer Program Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer Program. The Day the NASDAQ Died A long, long week ago I can still remember how the market used to make me smile… How Poor We Really Are One day a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were. Official Market Forecast Sales and income figures show an easing up of the rate at which business is easing off. Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
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AI Tax Preparer Program
Hello! Welcome to Taxtime (TM), your AI Tax Preparer Program. Do you feel like doing your taxes today? I see. Well, don’t you think you should do them anyway? After all, it is April 13th. You have less than 2 days to file. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a refund. That’s the spirit! Let’s begin with your name, address, and marital status. Sorry to hear about the divorce. But don’t let it get you down — That alimony deduction will come in mighty handy in these tough financial times! Please don’t cry. The economy’s bound to bounce back. In the meantime, let’s talk about dependents. Do you have any…
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Men’s Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Fishermen Catch A Mermaid Three Homeschool Dads go fishing, catch a mermaid and demand their IQ’s be increased. Mustard As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. Next “Survivor” Show 6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids for 6 weeks. Training Courses Now Available For Men Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
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Kids Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Fun Things To Do While Driving With Kids Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit. God is Missing. We’re in Trouble! If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. Greatest Baseball Player in the World A homeschooling boy was overheard talking to himself, baseball cap in place and toting ball and bat. Homework Policy Long Term Assignments: These are given the night before they are due. Letter From A Scout Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. Pledge of Allegiance A child’s version of the Pledge, and a link to…
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Holiday Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Christmas Jokes Halloween Jokes Thanksgiving Halloween Jokes Halloween Riddles About a 100 Halloween Riddles to tickle your Funny Bone. Is everyone ok? Everyone check on your friends. We have a rider down. 20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.) Thanksgiving Jokes The turkey shot out of the oven The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air, it knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair. Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
