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Go Milpitas

Go Milpitas

Milpitas, California, Community Website

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        • Maps
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      • Trains
        • Kiddie Train Rides
        • History of Railroads in California
          • Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad
          • Light Rail Opening 2004
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Help Support GoMilpitas!

  • Jokes

    Milpitas Mom’s’s 25 Worse Puns

    May 4, 2021 /
    How do you make a hot dog stand?

    25 of the Worse Puns I can think of right now…but wait! There are more! 1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson 2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled. 3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move. 4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm. 5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price. 6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on. 7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around. 8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I  left without making a scene. 9. Never buy flowers from a monk.…

    Read More
    Ann Zeise

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    June 29, 2020
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    May 4, 2018
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    June 10, 2021
  • Jokes

    Densa IQ Test

    March 26, 2021 /
    Stupidity Certificate

    Amazing Facts You’ve heard of MENSA the group for geniuses with IQ’s of 140 and above? Well this test is similar, it’s from DENSA and it’s a lot more fun. Here’s the quiz with the answers. Do they have a 4th of July in England? Yes/No Answer ___ Yes___ How many birthdays does the average man have? Answer _1, Just one!_ Some months have 31 days; how many have 28? Answer _12, all of them!_ How many outs are there in an inning? Answer_6, three per side!_ Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow’s sister? Yes/No Answer _No – because he is dead!_ Divide 30…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Combating COVID-19 with resilience

    Covid-19 is making me crack up!

    April 6, 2020
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    Fire Departments

    July 17, 2021
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    Computer Problem Report Form

    June 21, 2018
  • Jokes

    Are we there yet?

    March 12, 2021 /

    Covid Jokes Dr. Fauci driving SUV with lots of kids yelling, “Are we there yet?” as approaching “Normal” lane marker. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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    Ann Zeise

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    The History of Math Word Problems

    September 18, 2018
    Bears

    Beware of Bears

    January 5, 2023
    Making Clean Cars Easier to Buy in California

    Clean Air Incentives in Milpitas and California

    June 29, 2020
  • Jokes

    Look, I don’t come into your home office and tell you to get out of the tub!

    February 23, 2021 /

    Covid Jokes “Look, I don’t come into your home office and tell you to get out of the tub!” A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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    Ann Zeise

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    Weight Loss

    Weight Loss Software & Calculators

    June 25, 2020
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    Print and Copy Shops-Graphics Support in Milpitas

    June 22, 2024
    Too much Coffee

    Milk With A Little Coffee In It

    September 29, 2020
  • Jokes

    Best Dinosaur Jokes Comedy Routine Ever!

    February 21, 2021 /
    Green Dinosaur Comedian

    This set of dinosaur jokes comedy routine could be read by two kids or a kid and an adult as a skit for a children’s group. Can a bad dinosaur comedian get a laugh? You bet Jurassican. How do you cheer up a blue Dilophosaurus? Tell him some dinosaur jokes! Why do museums have so many old dinosaur bones? Because they can’t find any new ones! Why do comedians tell so many old dinosaur jokes? Because they also can’t find any new ones! Why can’t they find new fossils or new jokes? They’re lazy bones! Why don’t they find a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? Such as a Thesaurus. That…

    Read More
    Ann Zeise

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    Little Boy Licking Fingers

    Licking Is Totally the Same as Hand-washing, Right?

    May 7, 2020
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    December 5, 2024

    Proverbs: Kids’ Versions

    April 24, 2020
  • Jokes

    William Shakespeare Gets His Covid Vaccine

    February 1, 2021 /

    Covid Jokes William Shakespeare becomes the 2nd person to receive the Pfizer-BioNTech #COVID19 vaccine (outside of a trial) in Coventry, England. Nurse: Which arm? WS: As you like it Nurse: was that painful? WS: Much ado about nothing. Nurse: you will have to have a second jab. WS: Measure for measure? Nurse: so what do you think of the govt handling of Covid? WS: Comedy of Errors. Actually I heard the second person to get the vaccine was Christopher Marlowe but William Shakespeare took all the credit. Actually it was Sir Francis Bacon, and he allowed Shakespeare to take the credit. All’s Well That Ends Well. The Taming of the…

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    Ann Zeise

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    Milpitas Post founder Mort Levine

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    June 10, 2021
    Park and History Museum Plans

    Museums In and Near Milpitas

    October 30, 2021
    Palomino mare and colt

    Horses of Silicon Valley

    June 19, 2024
  • Jokes

    Where Do Pets Come From?

    February 1, 2021 /
    Dog Breeds

    Animal Jokes A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer: “Where do pets come from?” Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.” And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you…

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    Ann Zeise

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    February 7, 2021

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    July 3, 2021
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    April 23, 2024
  • Jokes

    Maxims to Share

    January 31, 2021 /
    Maxims to Share

    A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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    Ann Zeise

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    November 13, 2019
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    Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitation

    June 10, 2024
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    Cats in Milpitas

    May 23, 2022
  • Jokes

    Bernie @ Milpitas City Hall

    January 22, 2021 /
    Bernie at Milpitas City Hall

    Put Bernie at your place! A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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    Ann Zeise

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    July 22, 2023
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    August 18, 2020

    Bob Burrell’s Backyard Model Railroad

    July 24, 2018
  • Jokes

    Pie Throwing Trend in Milpitas

    December 31, 2020 /
    Bill Gates Pied

    Computing Jokes & Milpitas Jokes I think we have the makings of a new trend here since Bill Gates was “pied.” Anytime a computer exec says something stupid – POW – they get a pie in the face. I can just see it now: “… java virtual machine …” – WHAM – call the dry cleaners. “… the new upgrade is, of course, a whole new paradigm and thus incompatable with the original software …” – SMACK – they won’t do that again. “… you can surf the news faster, without changing either your connection or your modem …” – POW – 2 cream pies, one in each ear. “……

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    Ann Zeise

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    April 24, 2020
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    September 5, 2020
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