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The Ring Bearer
Religious Jokes A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar… So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.…
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The HTML Song
Computing Jokes Sung to the tune of “YMCA” Programs, that’s what we like to write, I said programs, we stay up half the night Writing programs, ’cause if you want a site On the World-Wide Web you need a Home page. Put the coolest stuff in To your home page. Folks will say, “Hey, I’ve been To your home page!” But before you begin You must learn a whole new language. You’ve got to code sites in H T M L. You’ve got to code blogs in H T M L. It’s a great little set of the neatest tools yet For exploiting the Internet. It’s fun to code WordPress…
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Camping With Sherlock Holmes
Amazing Facts Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip near Milpitas. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson said “I see millions and millions of stars.” Holmes: “And what does that tell you?” Watson: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?” Holmes: “Somebody stole our tent.” A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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Catholic Litany In A Pinch
Milpitas Jokes & Religious Jokes A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in Milpitas. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. “A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd — no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. “A PRIEST, PLEASE!” the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old man of at least eighty years of age. “Mr. Policeman,” says the man, “I’m not a priest. I’m not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I’m living behind St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church on…
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Homework Policy
Here is an explanation of our homework policy : Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. The time should be budgeted in the following manner: 15 minutes looking for assignment 11 minues calling a friend for the assignment 23 minutes explaining to parents why the teacher is mean and just does not like children 8 minutes in the bathroom 10 minutes getting a snack 7 minutes checking the TV Guide 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the homework 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom to do the assignment Long Term Assignments: These are given the night before they are due.…
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Licking Is Totally the Same as Hand-washing, Right?
Covid Jokes Me: Did you wash your hands? 4-year-old: No. Me: Why are your hands wet? 4: I licked them. That should kill the germs. How to Stop Kids From Licking Their Fingers A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
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The Mommy Test
Women Jokes This is actually a true story but, all the full-time moms I know have gotten a chuckle out of it. — From a faithful contributor. I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that. “Why?” “Because it’s been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs.” At this point she looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff?” “Uh,” I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, “Um, it’s on the mommy test. You have…
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Mom’s Song and Teen’s Answer
Women Jokes Anita Renfroe | William Tell Momisms | Official Version Anita Renfroe sums up all the things that a mother says to her children in a three-minute song called “Momisms” set to the William Tell Overture. This is the official version by Anita Renfroe. Purchase full DVD at www.AnitaRenfroe.com. Video and audio available on iTunes. The Child Song (Answer to the Mom Song) This is what a child would say to her mother in a 24-hour period. It has been made as a response to Anita Renfroe’s Mom Song, to the sound of William Tell Overture. With lyrics. Let me stay, let me stay in bed a little more…
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Forgetful Poem
Philosopical Jokes My forgetter’s getting better But my rememberer is broke. To you that may seem funny but, To me, that is no joke. For when I’m “here” I’m wondering If I really should be “there.” And, when I try to think it through, I haven’t got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say “what am I here for?” I wrack my brain, but all in vain A zero, is my score. At times I put something away Where it is safe, but, Gee! The person it is safest from Is, generally, me! When shopping I may see someone, Say “Hi” and have a chat, Then, when…
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Dating in the Time of Coronavirus
Covid Jokes Love in Lockdown We went speed dating on Zoom and found love. You’ve seen the events announcements here for online speed dating, right? So here’s how it works for these singles. A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.
