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Christmas Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes Christmas Carol Quiz These are the names of well-known Christmas caroles, rewritten in PC (pretty convoluted). If you like puzzles, try to decipher them. Christmas Riddles What do snowmen eat for breakfast? What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? They both drop their needles. An Engineer Calculates Santa’s Trip No known species of reindeer can fly. But it is estimated that there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer.…
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Covid Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Are we there yet? Dr. Fauci driving SUV with lots of kids yelling, “Are we there yet?” as approaching “Normal” lane marker. Breaking News Joke Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms! Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns You can’t say when this lockdown will be over, *Kenya*? COVID advice for Geeks COVID advice from Silicon Valley County Health Department, which has been sending out advice in many languages. Seems appropriate they also send it out in code! Covid-19 BINGO Usual BINGO rules, with this exception: If any game player sees someone sneeze or cough without a mask and into the open air, the game is over, and…
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Education Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas? Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California. Are You Acting Too Much Like a Teacher? Do you say everything twice? I mean, do you repeat everything? Bad Mistakes On Resumes “Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.” Classes We’d Really Like To See Offered At the Community Center Self-Improvement, Business/Career, Home Ec, Health & Fitness, Crafts Densa IQ Test You’ve heard of MENSA the group for geniuses with IQ’s of 140 and above? Educator At An Accident An educator uses her first aid training…
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Computing Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
All the Urban Legends Rolled Into One No need to read all those other urban legends, etc. ever again. Here they are, all in one. Computer Problem Report Form Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem. Error Dialog Haiku Printer not ready. Could be a fatal error. Have a pen handy? Solon Magazine Hacker Barbie® MATTEL announces the latest in their new line of Barbie® products. HTML Song You’ve got to code it in H T M L. (To the tune of “YMCA.”) Installing Love Steps to becoming a loving person described in terms of installing a computer program on a PC. The Last Page of the Internet Thank you…
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Animal Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
Beware of Bears The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and Northern Sierra areas. Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? They both drop their needles. An Engineer Calculates Santa’s Trip No known species of reindeer can fly. But it is estimated that there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer. How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change…
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Amazing Facts – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes
All the Urban Legends Rolled Into One No need to read all those other urban legends, etc. ever again. Here they are, all in one. Biggest Lies Campaign financing has nothing to do with how I vote. Breaking News Joke Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms! The local spas and wineries are the designated local quarantine centers. Camping With Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip in the Sunol Regional Wilderness. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.” Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns *Oman*, I really can’t…
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Beware of Bears
Animal Jokes The California State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and even in the San Francisco Bay areas. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray, in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings: Black bear droppings…
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Put on your groaning face…. More puns.
Amazing Facts A pun has not completely matured until it is full groan. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. I changed my iPod‘s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now. Jokes about German sausages are the wurst. I know a guy…
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Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes
Animal Jokes Milpitas Mom’s favorite Christmas riddles, puns, and jokes. What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This will sleigh you. Why was the elf afraid of being in a small room with Santa? He was Claus-trophobic. What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish. What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses. James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus. It is titled The Deer Sleigher. Where does Santa go swimming? The North Pool. How do Santa and Mrs. Claus get around? On an icicle built for two. What does Santa like best about gardening? He loves to Ho, Ho, Hoe! Which elf sings “Love me…
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Covid Vaccine Memes
Covid Jokes My mate got their covid vaccine yesterday and I can tell you the most prominent side effect is the inability to shut up about getting the covid vaccine. Scientists looking at data for the Oxford Vaccine: “Might – MIGHT – increase risk of blood clots. Pause all use immediately! Scientists looking at data about blood clots in women and the contraceptive pill over 60 years: Deal with it! “I’m not getting a vaccine so they can microchip me!” says the man typing into his phone that tracks his every thought and constantly logs his location. Christmas normally vs Christmas this year… The owners of Zoom reading that the…
