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Jokes

Christmas Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

Christmas Carol Quiz
These are the names of well-known Christmas caroles, rewritten in PC (pretty convoluted). If you like puzzles, try to decipher them.

Christmas Riddles 
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?

Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes 
Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? They both drop their needles.

An Engineer Calculates Santa’s Trip
No known species of reindeer can fly. But it is estimated that there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer.

Fruit Cake Recipe
Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Put it down somewhere. Check the whiskey again.

How We Know Santa’s Reindeer Are Female
Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

I Think Santa Claus is a Woman
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it.

An Interview with Santa’s Lawyer
Please state your name and occupation. My name is Marta Pittman, and I’m a partner at the Law Office of Garry Barbadillo.

Letter From Santa
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced.

Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar
Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards.

Night Before Christmas for Mom
T’was the night before Christmas, in a Milpitas abode,
Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.

Planning the Company Holiday Party 
I’m happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue.

Rudolf, The Red
An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

Santa’s Prayer
The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed.

Santa’s Workshop Bought By Bill Gates – 2020 Version
‘Twas the night before Christmas, When all through the house
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.

Web Addiction Holiday Sing Along
Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’, From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’, I’m happy although my boss let me go Happily addicted to the Web.

Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

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Covid Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

Are we there yet?
Dr. Fauci driving SUV with lots of kids yelling, “Are we there yet?” as approaching “Normal” lane marker.

Breaking News Joke
Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms!

Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns
You can’t say when this lockdown will be over, *Kenya*?

COVID advice for Geeks
COVID advice from Silicon Valley County Health Department, which has been sending out advice in many languages. Seems appropriate they also send it out in code!

Covid-19 BINGO
Usual BINGO rules, with this exception: If any game player sees someone sneeze or cough without a mask and into the open air, the game is over, and the player with most boxes covered wins that round.

Covid-19 is making me crack up!
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

Covid Vaccine Memes
My mate got their covid vaccine yesterday and I can tell you the most prominent side effect is the inability to shut up about getting the covid vaccine.

Daily Affirmations to Avoid
One of the things we DO have control over is being more mindful of the types of messages and words we are repeating to ourselves. Our thoughts have a lot of power over us and directly impact how we feel.

Dating in the Time of Coronavirus
You’ve seen the events announcements here for online speed dating, right? So here’s how it works for these singles.

Highs and Lows of Wearing Face Masks
Due to the order to wear face masks, some humorous observations have been made.

I Will Survive, Coronavirus version for teachers going online
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never teach through Canvas all the time
But then I spent so many nights reading the help docs for so long
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along…

Legoland Discovery Center at Great Mall Reopening
Covid-19 Updates regarding the Lego Discovery Center at the Great Mall in Milpitas.

Licking Is Totally the Same as Hand-washing, Right?
Me: Why are your hands wet?
4 Year Old: I licked them.

Look, I don’t come into your home office and tell you to get out of the tub!
Cartoon.

Naked Truth about Covid-19 and Sheltering in Place
So we’re into our 5th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there’s a lot of truth mixed in to consider…

Neil Diamond vs CDC on Hands, Touching Hands
Neil Diamond: Hands,
CDC: Yes, wash them for at least 20 seconds.
Neil Diamond: touching hands,
CDC: No! Please don’t touch hands!

Quarantine Insights One-liners
Whose idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands? Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.

A Recap of the First Three Weeks with Covid-19
Here’s a recap of the last three weeks, courtesy of Peter Lengsfelder.
AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?
CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

Relative Importance in 2020 So Far Graph Joke
The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic!

Science Explained By Children
What is Covonovirus? Explained to Kids by National Geographic: If you’ve been watching the news lately, chances are you’ll have heard lots about an illness that’s affecting people around the world, called coronavirus.

Stop complaining! You need to keep it on.
Dog grins at master wearing face mask.

T’was 3 weeks before Christmas
T’was 3 weeks before Christmas, And all through the town,
People wore masks, That covered their frown.

Where’s Waldo? Social Distancing Edition
“When I saw the cartoon today, it made me think of how the things we took for granted as a child back then are no longer considered “SAFE.”

William Shakespeare Gets His Covid Vaccine
William Shakespeare becomes the 2nd person to receive the Pfizer-BioNTech #COVID19 vaccine (outside of a trial) in Coventry, England.

Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

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Education Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

The Addition Game – Will Muppet Win Trip to Milpitas?
Video: If Muppet Harry Monster correctly guesses what 3+1 is, he will win a trip to Milpitas, California.

Are You Acting Too Much Like a Teacher?
Do you say everything twice? I mean, do you repeat everything?

Bad Mistakes On Resumes
“Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.”

Classes We’d Really Like To See Offered At the Community Center
Self-Improvement, Business/Career, Home Ec, Health & Fitness, Crafts

Densa IQ Test
You’ve heard of MENSA the group for geniuses with IQ’s of 140 and above?

Educator At An Accident
An educator uses her first aid training upon coming upon a bad car accident.

Educator Goes to Milpitas
A beautiful, blonde educator gets on an airplane and sits down in first class.

Excellent Advice I’ve Learned From Watching Scary Movies
When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

The History of Math Word Problems
Teaching Math in 2000: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?

Homespun Couple Visit Harvard President
The President of Harvard made a mistake by prejudging people and it cost him dearly.

Homework Policy
Long Term Assignments: These are given the night before they are due.

Kurt Vonnegut’s Commencement Address At MIT
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97: Wear sunscreen.

Milpitas High School Teacher Arrested at San Jose Airport
A Milpitas high school teacher was arrested today at Norman Y. Mineta San Jose International Airport as he attempted to board a flight.

On the Revelation of William Bennett’s Gambling Habit
Bill Bennett told a grateful nation,
‘Be moral. Just resist temptation.’

Seven Wonders of the World
A group of Geography students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World.

You Might Teach At Middle School If…
You can converse in middle schoolese.

Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

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Computing Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

All the Urban Legends Rolled Into One
No need to read all those other urban legends, etc. ever again. Here they are, all in one.

Computer Problem Report Form
Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem.

Error Dialog Haiku
Printer not ready. Could be a fatal error. Have a pen handy? Solon Magazine

Hacker Barbie®
MATTEL announces the latest in their new line of Barbie® products.

HTML Song
You’ve got to code it in H T M L. (To the tune of “YMCA.”)

Installing Love
Steps to becoming a loving person described in terms of installing a computer program on a PC.

The Last Page of the Internet
Thank you for visiting the End of the Internet. There are no more links.

Milpitas Role in Telecom History
Silva has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Milpitas had already gone wireless.

Original Trojan Horse Warning
This was forwarded to me by Cassandra–it looks legit.

The Origin Of The Internet
And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

Pie Throwing Trend in Milpitas
“… java virtual machine …” – WHAM – call the dry cleaners.

Web Addiction Holiday Sing Along
Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’, From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’, I’m happy although my boss let me go Happily addicted to the Web.

You Know You Live in Milpitas When…
You make over $250,000 and still can’t afford a house.

Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

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Animal Jokes – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

Beware of Bears
The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and Northern Sierra areas.

Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes 
Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? They both drop their needles.

An Engineer Calculates Santa’s Trip
No known species of reindeer can fly. But it is estimated that there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer.

How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
ROTTWEILER: Just one. You want to make something of it?

How We Know Santa’s Reindeer Are Female
Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

In My Next Life I Want To Be A Bear
If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Milpitas Cowboy’s Guide to Life
Don’t squat with your spurs on.

Ole and Lena’s bull took sick and died
… so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one.

Original Trojan Horse Warning
This was forwarded to me by Cassandra–it looks legit.

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race
…and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

Rudolf, The Red
An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

Stop complaining! You need to keep it on.
2019 Stop complaining! You need to keep it on. It’s for your own good. 2020 Dog grins at master wearing face mask.

Taking a Load of Penguins to the Zoo
Penguins get a lift to the zoo. (Links about penguins and places to see them.)

What Does The Frog Say?
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

When Riding a Dead Horse
When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

Where Do Pets Come From?
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer: “Where do pets come from?”

Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

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Amazing Facts – Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

All the Urban Legends Rolled Into One
No need to read all those other urban legends, etc. ever again. Here they are, all in one.

Biggest Lies
Campaign financing has nothing to do with how I vote.

Breaking News Joke
Women age 30-59 are most likely to carry CORONOVIRUS without symptoms! The local spas and wineries are the designated local quarantine centers.

Camping With Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip in the Sunol Regional Wilderness. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.”

Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns
*Oman*, I really can’t wait to *Rome* around. *Venice* this going to get over? You can’t say when this lockdown will be over, *Kenya*? This *Spain* is real.

Densa IQ Test
You’ve heard of MENSA the group for geniuses with IQ’s of 140 and above?

Determining the Height of a Tall Building
Show how it is possible to determine the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer.

Everyday Maxims
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

Excellent Advice I’ve Learned From Watching Scary Movies
When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

How Poor We Really Are
One day a wealthy family man took his son on a trip to the country so he could have his son see how poor country people were.

Kids Talk About God & Their Mother
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1.- We’re related.
2.- God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

New Vocabulary Words
Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Other People
Have you ever thought any of these statement ever applied to “other people” who were not like you?

Put on your groaning face…. More puns.
More puns-A pun has not completely matured until it is full groan. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

Relative Importance in 2020 So Far
The most accurate graph I’ve seen during this pandemic!

Rules for Writing the Blues
Blues can take place in New York City but not in Milpitas or any place in Canada. Hard times in Milpitas or Mountain View is probably just clinical depression.

Science Explained By Children
Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should.

Short History of Medicine
I have an earache: 2000 B.C. -Here, eat this root.

Signs You’ve Had Too Much Java
Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

US Standard Railroad Gauge
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 ft 8 1/2 in (1.44 m). That’s an exceedingly odd number.

Value of Time
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who has failed his exam.

Warnings & Instructions
On a package of bread-pudding mix: Product will be hot after heating.

Ways to Really Annoy Telemarketers
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

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Beware of Bears

Animal Jokes

The California State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and even in the San Francisco Bay areas.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.

They also advise you to carry pepper spray, in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings:

  • Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.
  • Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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Put on your groaning face…. More puns.

Amazing Facts

A pun has not completely matured until it is full groan.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
I changed my iPod‘s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
When chemists die, apparently they barium.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro – what a rip off!

More Puns

Milpitas Mom’s’s 25 Worse Puns
Coronavirus Quarantine Travel Puns

A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Jokes

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Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes

Animal Jokes

Milpitas Mom’s favorite Christmas riddles, puns, and jokes.

  • What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This will sleigh you.
  • Why was the elf afraid of being in a small room with Santa? He was Claus-trophobic.
  • What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
  • What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
  • James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus. It is titled The Deer Sleigher.
  • Where does Santa go swimming? The North Pool.
  • How do Santa and Mrs. Claus get around? On an icicle built for two.
  • What does Santa like best about gardening? He loves to Ho, Ho, Hoe!
  • Which elf sings “Love me tender?” Santa’s little Elvis!
  • Scrooge loves all the reindeer equally, because every buck is dear to him.
  • Santa’s sleigh jingles too much. He won’t win the No Bell Prize!
  • Does Santa have any money? No. That is why they call him Saint Nickeless.
  • Why does Santa like to go down chimneys? Because it soots him!
  • But isn’t he afraid he’ll get stuck? Yes, he gets Santa Claus-trophobic.
  • Won’t all that soot make him sick? No. He’s had his flue shot.
  • But what if there’s a fire in the fireplace? Santa then becomes Krisp Kringle!
  • Sometimes it gets so cold, Santa gets icicles in his beard. Real chin-chillers, those!
  • What do you get when you cross a sheep with a cicada? Baa Humbug!
  • A webmaster’s favorite hymn? Oh .com all ye faithful!
  • Ah! Christmas! The one day of the year we can all say our children are truly gifted!
  • What do you say to a bad puppy at Christmas? Felix Naughty Dog!
  • Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
  • What does Santa like to eat? A jolly roll
  • Christmas is the time of year when women get Santamental.
  • What playwright was intimidated by Christmas? Noel Coward
  • Christmas is the time of year when mother has to separate the men from the toys.
  • What do you get if you cross a Yule Log with a duck? A Fire Quacker
  • Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.
  • How do Mexican sheep say Merry Christmas? “Fleece Navidad.”
  • Who is Round John Virgin? One of the twelve opossums.
  • Someone has stated that the three phrases that best sum up the Christmas season are: “Peace on Earth”, “Goodwill to Men” and “Batteries not included.”
  • Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? Santa Paws
  • If Santa rode a motorcycle, what kind would it be? A Holly Davidson.
  • Christmess: Five minutes after the gifts are opened.
  • What is special about the Christmas alphabet? There’s NO EL.
  • What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? The letter “D”.
  • What did Adam told his girlfriend on December 24th? “It’s Christmas! Eve.”
  • What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
  • How is a cat on the beach like Christmas? He’s got Sandy Paws.
  • What did the guest sing at Eskimo’s Christmas party? Freeze a jolly good fellow.
  • What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs? Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
  • What do reindeer have that no other animals on earth have? Baby reindeer.
  • What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost.
  • Whose Christmas parties are full of screams? Dracula’s.
  • Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!
  • How does Mickey Mouse get around during the winter? Mice skates.
  • If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missile-Toe.
  • Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? In a snow bank.
  • What happened when Santa’s cat swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens.
  • What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Kringle.
  • Did you know that all the angels in Jesus’ heavenly choir had the same name? Sure, haven’t you ever heard the song, “Hark, the Harold Angels Sing”?
  • What is Santa’s favorite breakfast cereal? Frosted Flakes.
  • What is Frosty’s favorite breakfast cereal? Snow Flakes.
  • Why are Christmas trees like people who can’t knit? They both drop their needles.
  • How does Santa Claus take pictures? With a North Pole-aroid camera.
  • Where is the best place to put your Christmas tree? After your Christmas one and your Christmas two.
  • What would a Japanese tourist in Alaska wear? An Eskimono.
  • Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.
  • What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes? A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)
  • What is red and white and goes up and down and up and down? Santa Claus stuck in an elevator.
  • Why is Santa a good race car driver? Because he’s always in the pole position.
  • Who carries all of Santa’s books? His books elf. (book shelf)
  • What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? Claus-trophobic.
  • What’s red and green and guides Santa’s sleigh? Rudolph the red-nosed pickle.
  • What do elves learn in homeschool? The elf-abet.
  • What do you call a polar bear that steals icebergs from other polar bears? An ice-burglar.
  • How do you know if there is a reindeer in your refrigerator? The hoof prints in the butter!
  • Why does Santa Claus have three gardens? So he can Ho-Ho-Ho.
  • How does Father Christmas climb up a chimney? He uses a ladder in the stocking!
  • What happens when Frosty the Snowman gets dandruff? He gets snowflakes.
  • What kind of food do you get when you cross a blizzard with a polar bear? A brrr-grrr! (burger)
  • What’s red and white and red and white and red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a hill.
  • What did the sheep say to the shepherd? Seasons Bleatings!
  • Did you hear that one of Santa’s reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? It’s true! Comet cleans sinks!
  • Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous? Holly-wood.
  • What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick? A chill pill.
  • What does Santa Claus use when he goes skiing? A North Pole.
  • What do you call a cow at the North Pole? An Eski-moo.
  • If I’m standing at the North Pole, facing the South Pole, and the East is on my left hand, what’s on my right hand? Fingers!
  • Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean? Because snow man is an island.
  • I know, I know. I know that people say, “It’s the thought that counts, not the gift… but couldn’t people think a little bigger?
  • Sometimes I get the feeling that if Christmas, Father’s Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist!
  • Santa Claus is a jolly fellow! Imagine all that driving and still being able to say, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
  • My friend, Rick, is a paramedic here in Miami. A few years ago he answered a call about a man who had a head injury he got when some teenagers were throwing eggs at cars. It seems that the egg had come through the open window of the man’s car as he was driving at about 45 mph. He had a large swelling on his forehead. In the official report, Rick described the incident as an “egg-noggin.”
  • Billy: How come you never hear anything about the tenth reindeer, Olive? Tilly: Olive? Billy: Yeah, you know… Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names…
  • The wife is shopping for Christmas gifts. With purchases little and large, she doesn’t believe in Santa Claus… But she believes in Master Charge!
  • A little boy returned from Sunday School with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he just had to tell his parents: “I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas! There wasn’t a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys!” And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn’t there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around.”

A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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Covid Vaccine Memes

Covid Jokes

My mate got their covid vaccine yesterday and I can tell you the most prominent side effect is the inability to shut up about getting the covid vaccine.

Scientists looking at data for the Oxford Vaccine: “Might – MIGHT – increase risk of blood clots. Pause all use immediately!
Scientists looking at data about blood clots in women and the contraceptive pill over 60 years: Deal with it!
Deal With It

“I’m not getting a vaccine so they can microchip me!” says the man typing into his phone that tracks his every thought and constantly logs his location.

Christmas normally vs Christmas this year…
Christmas this year

The owners of Zoom reading that the Covid-19 vaccine may allow resumption of normal life.
Zoom Owner

Me celebrating what fun I’ll have after getting Covid Vaccine vs Me realizing the anti-vaxxers won’t get it, keeping the Covid virus spreading.
Me Celebrating

Introvert looking at the Vaccine knowing lockdown will end soon.
Introvert

Imagine being a scientist, studying for years, working even more, discovering a vaccine for a new disease, rigorously testing it, producing all the data, getting it through peer review, and then being told the public won’t trust it until they hear the phrase…
“Biggins is in!”
Biggins is in!

10 Myths About Coronavirus Vaccines
Separating fact from fiction when it comes to getting vaccinated against COVID-19.

En español | More than 245 million Americans have rolled up their sleeves for the coronavirus vaccines, but still a significant share of the eligible population (about 40 percent) is not fully vaccinated.

A big reason: False information spread online and in person has persuaded many people to skip the shot. In fact, a 2021 Kaiser Family Foundation report found about 80 percent of adults who say they will “definitely not” get the vaccine believe or are unsure about at least one prevailing COVID-19 vaccine myth. And a majority of adults (54 percent) either believe some rampant misinformation about the COVID-19 vaccines or are unable to debunk it.

Facts are especially important as new COVID-19 cases, hospitalizations and deaths climb throughout the U.S., driven largely by the highly contagious delta and omicron variants. Here are some common coronavirus vaccine myths and the truth behind each one.

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